How do I keep going ?. Dad is now deteriorating before my eyes.

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Hi I'm new here,

I'm looking for people who are or have been in the same situation I'm in, caring full time for a loved one.

Basically we live with my dad, who is a real miracle. He's a Wonderful man who's mind has been OK but his body not. He is living / terminal ill with different cancers in his Bowel, blood, bone, kidney & prostate. .

I'm struggling at the moment as he's now really starting to decline. He has managed before, he was always fiercely independent as much as he could be but now. He's sleeping more, appetite has decreased and his body is exhausted. To see him deteriorate, be in pain. It's heart breaking.

We moved in a year ago as my mum passed very quickly with Pancreas cancer at the end of 2022. She was given 6 months and yes spot on 6 months later she died. GOD called her home.

It's just I guest like a bitter sweet watching dad deteriorating and knowing there's nothing I can do. Especially after caring for mum. It's so hard.

Theboys 6 months ago

Hi Lozzy37

I'm so very sorry to read your post&totally understand how you feel watching your lovely Dad deteriorate in front of you. I watched my Dad literally fade away&we lost him in January.

Cancer is a b@£tard. It really does take away everything. It's evil. My only advice to you is to get all the help you can for both you&your Dad. Try to make sure he's as comfortable as possible&spend time with him....talk about his childhood, your childhood, happy&sad memories. I wrote my Dad a letter sharing lots of my childhood memories&telling him how much we all loved him&what a total legend he was. It made him cry...but I'm so happy he knew how much we loved him.

Say everything you want to&treasure your time with him.

Thinking of you both&sending love&strength. Take care. Xxx

Lozzy37 6 months ago in reply to Theboys

Thank you sooo much.

PetGarden 5 months ago

I’m in the same situation, only I don’t live with my dad.

It’s bloody awful isn’t it? Trying to support him, while not taking away his independence - I’m finding it very overwhelming, guilt inducing (for not being able to fix everything) and heart breaking.

Time is not on our side and now that Dad’s cancer has spread to his brain, new challenges are arising.

It is hard Lozzy37 , be kind to yourself x

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How do I keep going ?. Dad is now deteriorating before my eyes.