Hi everyone,
My Dad has mesothelioma and he’s at the stage where his independence is rapidly disappearing . He’s fighting it tooth and nail and lashing out at me and my brother out of pure frustration. His mental decline is frightening and he’s hurt and confused. My brother is extremely stressed and I think I’ve just shut down. The way it feels to me is that occasionally the emotions hit you like a ball bouncing off your head but they are suddenly gone. It’s serving a purpose as it’s keeping me capable of functioning but I’ve no idea what toll it’s going to take later on and it frightens me.
We are trying so hard to make the most out of this little bit of time we have left but it’s a battle on some days.
Dad’s death is inevitable but please tell me that families can recover from the aftermath. Could really use a positive story right now xx
Hi EvieStar
Sorry to read what you are going through, worrying about the future is really common.
My dad had a series of seizures each of which robbed us of some of his mind. It eventually came to a stage where he needed 24/7 care and went in to a care home.
When my dad died their was a certain sense of relief, mostly that he was no longer suffering but also that we no longer were suffering too and then guilt for ever thinking that. However as months moved on we became much more able to focus on all the good things dad did in his life and for us - his legacy.
There is quite a good introduction here to anticipatory grief that might help you now. Your dad may also benefit from a needs assessment
<<hugs>>
Steve
