Just needed to vent ( again!)

Hi Mulberrybag 

I hear you, often on here we talk about carers remembering to take care of themselves but it can be much easier to say than to do.

<<hugs>>

Steve 

Oh yes!! Sometimes it’s even before my backside hits the sofa - I have the thought that I might sit down, and in that nano-second he’s jumped in with a “Can you just....?”

Hi Mulberrybag - I could have written exactly the same message!

Today we learnt that a trial my husband has been on for his liver cancer is not working so we are now looking at palliative care. I’m so scared I won’t cope as he’s been so ‘needy’ whilst receiving treatment I fear I will be in the kitchen shouting all the time. I also feel so selfish all the time. 

Hi Mulberrybag, I can empathise with you it made me smile to think of you in the kitchen with the V sign as this is something I have also been doing. My partner and I don't live together ( we are oldies) but 5 days 247 whilst he has had Radiotherapy has definitely tested the relationship and I couldn't wait for him to go home on Thursday after the treatment was finished sitting on the loo projecting thoughts to him to get his stuff and go. Don't feel  selfish I'm sure they don't realise what we as carers be it family or otherwise go through. The only thing I can suggest is if you have a support network of friends rather then family try and get out to see them if possible once a week because you may find that coping is a little easier when it isn't 247 Hugs x

Hi,

I’m brand new to the forum and I’m so glad I read this as it makes me realise its okay to scream into a pillow or flick the v’s behind their back.

This is me and my brother with our Dad. 

i catch myself thinking I want this to be over and then I realise what that means and then think I’m an absolute monster 

x

Hi EvieStar, I am new to this forum and am looking after my elderly dad who has just come home from hospital under palliative care with gastric and cholangiocarcinoma (liver & gall bladder).

I completely understand what you're feeling, as I could visualise myself when you said about in the kitchen with the "V"s etc.

I think I am finding the neediness frustrating and is exhausting me the most. He has been in hospital for 3 weeks & has become so institutionalised. When I suggest he can still do some little things, he goes mad at me - like walking to his bathroom - (he lives in a little bungalow)

I live 35 miles from dad - so driving there and back and spending most of my days with him, is such hard work & I feel guilty for wanting a day off! 

I'm going to continue swearing under my breath and flicking V's, I now feel that it isn't just me!

Take care x