My husband has suspected pancreatic cancer

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Hi everyone, I’m new here and feeling very scared. I’m 44 now but know a thing or 2 about losing people to cancer as I lost my nanna (my mums mum) and my mum to cancer 3 months apart from each other when I was only 19. As an only child it was hard to take and felt I’d lost my whole world. Fast forward to being 44 and I’ve just lost my dad to heart failure 10 weeks ago which has been hard, but the hardest thing is that my husband has just been diagnosed with a large mass on his pancreas 3 days ago. He’s been in pain for 3 months now and lost lots of weight with night sweats. Everytime we went to the GP or went to A and E they gave him no pain relief and said they suspected a stomach ulcer or gastritis. Anyway eventually he got a CT scan with the consultant gastroenterologist. We got called back in pretty quickly to be told about the mass in his pancreas. The doctor pretty much said it was cancer without saying it. He just kept saying he was very worried andthat he suspected it was very serious. Now we are in limbo waiting to hear from the pancreas management team to understand exactly what we are dealing with. But I’m scared it’s all too late. He’s 9.5 stone with severe pain and no appetite. I feel he’s wasting away in front of me already and I don’t know what to do. We only got married 8 months ago and thought this year would be our year to travel, but our whole world has come crashing down around us. The prognosis for this cancer is terrible and I’m so scared I Wii not have him for much longer. I just don’t know how to get him to eat. Even the high protein shakes are hard for him to get down.

src60 6 months ago

Hi Jackles and welcome to our community

So sorry to hear about what you are going through, waiting for a diagnosis while we see the one we love waste away is very difficult.

Eating issues can be really common and something that many carers find difficult to cope with, your husband could talk to the hospital about this.

Being scared at this time is really normal as it grieving for the life you thought you were going to have as we can see in our pages here.

Hope you get some answers soon.

<<hugs>>

Steve

T21 6 months ago

Hello Jackies. I hope you are doing ok since your post. I find myself in a similar position. We found out 4 weeks ago that my partner is likely to have pancreatic cancer but the biopsy has not been shared yet 3 weeks later. Despite three visits to surgeons so far. We are unable to start the treatment until the bilaruben levels reduce significantly. My dad passed away in January and my mum is also currently unwell. Like you, 2024 was looking so positive and our plans for the house and travel finally were picking up. I have moments when it doesn’t feel real which is a relief in comparison to the other times when it quite frankly feels overwhelming and surreal. I’m also a mother and working full time so finding this space to share openly rather than masking at home and work means a lot. Sending you lots of love xx

Whispa 6 months ago

Hi Jackles, im so sorry to hear about your husband. My husband was diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer in Feb. We see an oncology nutritionist to help with the food issues he's having - basically all the food he loved, he no longer can stomach, except eggs. They give us tips like: making smoothies and soups to give him nutrients, recommend Huel Black shakes to keep protein up, adding brocolli sprouts to meals, making smaller more frequent meals. To be honest, a lot of the time, if he eats, all he wants is tinned soup, warm hazelnut milk and fruit, or just junk food! Like you, we had great plans for this year, but are still being as positive as we can for our two young children and for our sanity. Life is just surreal and can be utterly depressing, however, just recently, ive started living one day at a time and not looking into the future, and thats helping a lot.

Sending love to you, Amelia x

Peugeot_12 5 months ago

Hi Jackie. I’m so sorry about your situation.
my story is very similar to yours and I feel for you.
me and my husband dated 42 years ago. We split up as we only young. But 2 yrs ago at 74 and 68 we met up and got back together. He is the love of my life and we were going to make up for all that time apart. A dream come true. We had 7 months of happiness then 5 weeks before we got married he was diagnosed with a net tumour in his pancreas. Our world collapsed. We got married as planned but all our plans and future snatched away. I feel for you Jackie. It’s a cruel world. But my advice is keep communicating with your husband and keep on the site. Everyone is so kind and helpful altho they are going through the same. Take it day to day.
you can’t change it. Unless he has the operation. My husband isn’t suitable for surgery but your husband maybe would be. I hope so as it’s the only cure.
my husband has hormone injections every month and it has not spread or grown in 12 month. So treatment is working. No spread or growth. They have lots of options for him. The worst is the waiting in between scans or appointments. Stay strong and stay with us on here. Take care Jackie

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