Hello to you all I hope your day will be a good one. My dad has myloma and is now 1year into the diagnosis and treatment I have no issues at the moment in supporting him he's doing well and putting myself aside I can be what ever he needs. However not great at supporting myself. Terrifying is how I describe my feelings although I'm totally avoiding letting myself feel anything. I've survived many emotional battles and I've found my way through but this is a whole new feeling. I'm numb yet broken and putting all my feelings in a box deep in my soul trying to survive the devastating reality. It's hard to breath sometimes, I'm so scared of what's coming, how do I know what's coming what will I have to see him suffer what if it breaks my heart so bad I can't cope. Where do I start to deal with the emotions.
Hi Floki
Welcome to the carers network, your story above contains lots that is very familiar since I have been living with my wife's cancer diagnosis for over 10 years now. I have been great at supporting others but sometimes not so much myself. One of the great things I got from a living with less stress course was the art of conscious breathing - when things seem overwhelming that ability to take a step back, a deep breath before stepping back in to the flow I sometimes find helpful.
Sometimes I find it helpful to look at my emotions and recognize them as reasonable and valid and that can help them being quite so overwhelming. Something slightly weird that helped me was an incident near me when 6 people died at work - I came to realise that none of us really know what tomorrow will bring. A useful saying I like is "yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery today is a gift and that is why we call it the present"
I find the forums very helpful because on here people just get how things are.
<<hugs>>
Steve
