Hi
My partner has an Anaplastic brain tumour. We do not live together and we have been together for 5 years. He was diagnosed 6 months after we started our relationship. He was given 18 months to live but has lived for almost 5 years post diagnosis, which is amazing. I have no financial ties to him and we have no children together, he has 2 from past relationships
My problem is that I feel drained supporting him. He does have a temper and often is horrible to me. He has never hit me. He also can be patronising and abrupt. I am not sure how much of this is his personality or how much is the illness.
I feel really burnt out, I have tried speaking to him, but he states that his situation is worse, which it is. He also cries if I try and suggest changes to our relationship. If it wasnt for the tumour, I'd almost see this as emotional blackmail
I know there is no solution, but just looking for some support. My friends feel I should leave the relationship but thats not the outcome I want.
I know this isnt a forever relationship for me due to this terminal tumour he has,
Is there anyone out there in a similar situation to me? Just looking for ideas on how I can cope with this
Hi crochetbabe
After 5 years I am not surprised you feel burned out because this sounds a really difficult position to be in and it can feel very lonely when your friends seem to be pushing towards a response you do not want.
Many people find change challenging but I sometimes point out that if we want to grow then change is essential. I struggled when my wife was diagnosed but 10 years later our relationship is stronger than ever. I have had the times when she suggested I did not want to be struggling with her and we have seen a number of lows. Talking helped and especially when I came to understand that there are so many things I could not fix but talking about them helped.
If it help you please feel free to ring the helpline here, I have cried at them in the past and they are very helpful. If a face-to-face with others might be helpful too it can be useful to use our in your area tool to find groups near you. I love our local Maggies cetnre.
<<hugs>>
Steve
