Hello
My wife has been diagnosed with lung cancer. She was diagnosed with PMR (Polymyalgia Rheumatica) which is very painful and I had to take her to A&E one night due to excruciating pain. She was admitted to hospital that night and after an Xray, a CT Scan, MRI Scan and a PET-CT Scan she has now been diagnosed with lung cancer. We do not know any more details than that - we are awaiting the oncologist review and analysis of the scans and tests. My worry is that its a lot worse than we think. I am trying to be positive but its very hard.
She came home after almost two weeks in hospital. She is in so much pain and is taking at least 8 different medications a day (including the PMR meds). Until we see the oncologist I am administering all of her meds and keeping a log of everything. I want her to not have to stress about anything so have already taken on the role of carer it seems. Hopefully I am helping, I dont even know. I dont know what to expect to be honest and I am sure I have no clue what to do.
Our support network is pretty much non existent - she is from Australia and has been here since 2014, so her family are still back in Australia. My family are here - but are not here, if that makes sense. A few people are already starting to avoid us because 'they dont know what to say'
I am aware that I am rambling and I dont really have a question or a point - just offloading I guess.
Thanks for taking the time..
Hi LiseP
Welcome to our community though sorry to hear about what your poor wife and you are going through, life sometimes seems very unfair and often a cancer diagnosis comes somewhere out of the blue when checking for something else.
The gap between a diagnosis and getting the meeting with the oncology team most people find very difficult. We can imagine all sorts of things and you are right many people do not know what to say. Often people with a cancer diagnosis do not want people to know because they worry friends will start treating them differently.
We do have a guide talking about cancer and that can sometimes help. When I started talking about my wife's cancer a number of people talked to me about how cancer had affected them and their family and sometimes that was the first time they had talked about it.
As for offloading - please do, exactly why this forum exists and here we get it - it is tough. I find it helpful to look at your feelings when someone has cancer since if I recognize the emotions and accept them it can help them feel less overwhelming.
<<hugs>>
Steve
