Confused, lonely scared

My husband now spends lots of time sleeping or playing computer games. He sees other people regularly but seems to have withdrawn from me. It hurts. I feel like I have lost my husband but I can’t live my own life because I am looking after him. It is a horrible sort of limbo where I want things to change but at the same time I don’t want them to change because the only change can be losing him completely.

I totally hear what you are saying, it's really hard dealing with this, I feel for you. Sending you heaps of love. I feel like stuck between a rock and a hard place  x

Realised I didn’t explain my situation much. Husband was diagnosed at the end of 2022. Recently found out it has spread to his brain and there is no further treatment available. It sucks.  Wishing you opportunities for quality time even if that looks difficult right now.

Thank you so much and sorry to hear no further treatment available for your husband, I wish I could help you feel better at this time.

I get how you feel. My partner has terminal cancer and it’s a very strange and tough experience walking alongside him through it. He is more tired too, although very much still getting out and about - we just take it all much slower than than before, with a lot more breaks. I often have times when I think this is the start of his health getting much worse; at Xmas I was convinced he might not make it to April but we are half way through that time and he seems to have more strength not less so focusing on plans until July instead! So my experience is that there are ups and downs, and I find it’s important to not try and guess what the downs mean; I’m not very good at that and still worry but I’m working on it! All you really know is what’s happening on that day, in that moment. Sending you lots of love to get through each day. 

Thank you so much for your reply, I hear you! Today actually has been a better day and you are absolutely right, it is about what is happening on that day, I am trying to focus now on living in the present and not fast forwarding to what may or not be. What a roller coaster! Thanks again to you and all who replied and reacted much love to you too x