Hiya.
My mum was diagnosed with gallbladder cancer early Dec and given a few months.
She's been in a hospital an hour away for over 2 weeks now. I can drive but my dad's been taking us as I hate driving in the dark in a city I dont know but he knows the way. So I feel guilty not looking after him and driving myself.
I feel guilty every time I realise I'm not thinking about my parents. How lonely they both must be being apart and everything else...
I feel guilty if I'm remotely happy or "normal".
I feel guilty hoping she goes soon and quickly so we don't have to watch her suffer.
I feel guilty if I'm not visiting her or my dad. But I feel guilty if I'm not with my partner or exercising instead.
I feel guilty I'm still working.
I feel guilty thinking of how much of my free time I'm going to lose when she passes and I have have to keep checking on my dad.
I felt guilty when the flash thought of basically "I wonder if she'll leave me any money" came in my head...
I feel guilty about everything.
Can anyone relate?
Hi dogzandmogz
You are normal - guilt is such a common feeling when we are dealing with this sort of news.
When my wife was diagnosed she never wanted a prognosis and I really struggled with that, I wonder though what "a few months" really means. Always more stressful of course when our loved ones are in hospital and visiting can be quite tiring.
I know when my wife was ill I found work quite comforting - things were organised and I knew what to do and when - not like my home life where I never really knew what tomorrow would being.
I ended up doing a living with less stress course. A key element was learning to live in the minute and appreciate what we have. The conscious breathing exercises were great for helping me relax but also key to dealing with unexpected news when it arrives.
<<hugs>>
Steve
