Sad news & husband struggling with eating & drinking

Hi MaryPop welcome to the forum and I am so very sorry to hear what has been happening for you both. It sounds like he is very frightened and little wonder. and he may be better after the team have visited. Its clear that you are both frightened and again that's ok and normal and maybe all you can do is just be there and do what you can but don't push it until he has had a chat with the team and see how he is then. Remember we are here for you as well. xxx 

Thank you for your message. Its been such an overwhelming 10 days, that I think its all got a bit much for us both. I just feel guilty and selfish when we 'have words', buts its so hard to stand back & watch him not eat. 

Thank you for your advice about waiting till the team have visited on Tuesday.... i think thats something to work towards & we can chat to them about it all & hopefully they can help... 

Hi MaryPop,is this stent in his osophogus?

What is he having to eat at moment?

Hi MaryPop, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. My dad has terminal bowel cancer, our palliative care team has been amazing, my dad was losing weight and they advised me to speak to the GP, then the GP referred us to a dietician who's prescribed nutrition soups and juices.

I know how difficult it is, my dad can get into low moods, especially when he's in pain. He can get in a bad mood with my mum, so I'm the one who helps diffuse the situation cos I'm not spending 24/7 with him. My point is, sometimes having someone external, like the palliative care team might help perk up your husband's mood. You're doing the best that you can! The news must be a shock to your husband and we all process bad news differently. I've started treating my dad like a child, as in being super patient, not getting annoyed, keeping him happy, putting up with his temper tantrum. It's really weird how cancer has changed my relationship with my dad. So please don't feel guilty or selfish, you just care and love him a lot. Hopefully the palliative care team can help. 

Sending you a hug and strength x

Hi.. yes hrs got am oesophageal stent that he had put in in Nov. He was building up to eating things like fish pie, cottage pies, etc.. a soft diet but was doing ok... 

Thank you for your reply. Im so sorry to hear about your dad. 

Thank you for your experience with the palliative care team. Its good to hear how supportive they've been for you all. Im hopeful for their visit tomorrow.

I think that speaking to them, as you say, an external person, will help... i sometimes think he doesnt want to worry me or add to my worries, so Im hopeful he'll speak openly to them tomorrow..

It has been hard to deal with how hes been, and hes feeling really low, so I do hope knowing a bit more (next steps, plans etc) & him being able to find some answers to the questions he has might help...

Wishing you all the best & thinking of you x

So has this news affected him quite badly that it's resulted in such a quick weight loss?

Is he struggling with the stent, my wife had one fitted in June last year. She has stage 4 lung cancer and lost so much weight. The stent has been major factor in the weight loss. She was so bad I had to take her back in hospital for 6 days in January.

Im sorry to hear about your wife

He had lost quite a bit of weight when he was on chemo over the summer & was starting to look to build himself back up since the stent. It took a while to get used to it & what he could eat with it, but just about getting the hang of it so starting to hope he could put some weight back on.

Unfortunatly, he had a set back & was in hospital for 10days in jan (not stent related) & then we had this news, so I think its all hit him at once & hes struggling with it all at the moment.., but hopefully the palliative team can help.

Im so sorry to hear about your wife and thinking of you both

I'm sorry to hear about your husband. The chemo can itself be quite invasive cause weight loss.

Your the first person who is a similar situation to our family. There's so little help with stent , all we got was a food leaflet and just told to eat this or that.

There was no hands on about meals, preparing etc.