I feel lost

Hi, I can relate, although my mum lives with me, my husband and 2 daughters (15 & 9) 

she’s got stage 4 lung cancer with widespread mets, cancer treatment has been stopped and been referred to palliative care, and they’ve given an expected prognosis of 6 months,  I feel in limbo about who I turn to. 
I don’t think my mum fully understands or accepts what’s been said. I work full time and am a full time carer to her. 
all of those feelings are perfectly normal as I’m feeling those too. Just wanted to reach out and say you’re not on your own. 

Sorry to hear about your dad. It's difficult to see our parents suffering. If you feel like you want to spend more time with your dad, could you make some arrangements like taking time off work. If it's not possible, is your dad up for having regular Zoom calls or chatting on the phone? It must be difficult cos he doesn't live close by. I hope he has family or friends in Northern Ireland that could help him.

My GP has prescribed Fortisip and nutritional soup for my dad (he has stage 4 bowel cancer), they're about 200 to 300 calories. They're easy to drink and helps to add extra nutrients and calories.

We can only do our best for our parents and I can tell you really care about your dad. My dad can get into a bad mood when he's feeling unwell and he's in an ok mood when he's feeling well. So his moods are a good indicator of how he's feeling. There's nothing much we can do to change how they feel and think,  apart from being there for them and making them feel loved. Sometimes I get in a bad mood with my dad but I let it go, I feel like I'm the parent and he's the child, I have to do my best to look after him and make him happy. It's so difficult. Take care of yourself! 

Hi thank you so much for your words. I've spoken to my brother and he is going to come home and live with me so that we can look after him but will need to register him with a GP when he gets back. 

i am sorry to hear about your dad that must be really hard for you and your family

he currently hasn't started treatment and at the moment I don't think he is well enough, he couldn't even have the biopsy so we don't know what stage he is living with. 
I just go up every few hours and have a chat with him hold his hand and be there with him in the moment as I think that's all I can do, my boss has been amazing so have some time to sort things out, but I don't know where to being with regards to additional help coming in so I don't get carers breakdown so will prob give the macmillan helpline a call to get some advice. 
I have been giving him supplements and when he finishes his drink a do a really stupid Irish jig just to get him laughing a little. 

And yes it is really difficult I do feel like I'm the parent sometimes and get frustrated with him and this bloody cancer. 

again thank you so much and wish you all the best with your dad 

• Hi I am sorry to hear about your mum it must be so hard for you all. I work full time and now will be looking after my dad as after posting this I had a chat with my brother and he is coming home to live with me so that we can look after him. 
  we don't even know what stage my dad is living with so he hasn't even started treatment yet, or even if he will as at the moment I don't think his body will cope with it. 
  and thank you for your words as at times it does feel like I'm on my own with this so it's good to know that I am not. 
  
  
  

Hope you've had a good week. I'm not on here often, so I'm slow at replying. Glad to hear you'll be looking after your dad so he won't be alone. Good luck with everything. Hopefully the doctors can give your dad a treatment plan or the next steps. All we can do is take it a step at a time. I laughed when you said you do a silly Irish jig. I sing to my dad to make him laugh and then we end up singing together. We have to find some moments of joy in this difficult time. 

Look after yourself, everyone is very friendly on here if you ever want to chat.