My husband has been diagnosed with bowel cancer and starts his first cycle of chemo tomorrow. Feeling scared and apprehensive but want to stay positive for him as much as me.
I can sympathise with you - it’s such an unknown. Until you know how your husband will react there’s not so much you can do. In general I would urge you to take good care of yourself as much as you can, sleep, walk, have treats. Ask for advice whenever you’re unsure of something. I have found my husbands oncology nurses and support workers to be knowledgable and endlessly helpful.
I was told to make sure my husband drinks a lot (mainly water). So I make sure he has a half cup everywhere he sits and top it up regularly. He seems to find that less daunting.
Should your husband, like mine, have diarrhoea I recommend the incontinence pads from age U.K. if you can afford them. It may be you can get them free from the nhs too. They give my husband a bit more confidence and dignity.
Lean on friends, family and this forum whenever you feel overwhelmed. You don’t need to walk this path alone x
Thank you. I realise it will be a case of wait and see how he goes as everyone is different. So far everyone we have met involved in his care have been so lovely. I’m not great at asking for help but will endeavour to do so. I have a job too so there will be times when I have other distractions. I also enjoy yoga so I aim to keep going to that as it really does help me shut off from anything else, at least temporarily. We will get there together and I’ll get used to saying I need help sometimes too. None of us can do this alone. We’re here for each other. Thanks again.
Yoga will be great! I’m very bad at asking for help too and I only saw your message because today I’m at my wits end and so posted for the first time in ages. Sometimes just typing the message helps I think. Too be honest it sounds like you have quite a lot of it worked out and as you say getting through it together is half the battle. I hope your husband’s infusion goes well tomorrow.
oh I just remembered. I have found it really really useful to keep a day by day record of how my husband has been (any side effects etc), pills taken, advice give and tricks learnt, food eaten or not eaten, changes in sleepiness. It’s so easy to forget what things were like and so useful to be able to read back with each new cycle and to think oh we’ve been here before or oh this is new. It helps to be confident pills have been taken. Reading back on last years chemo I was amazed to find it was almost identical to this round for my husband. And it gives me strength because we got through that and can get through it again
Thank you for your good wishes. I’m still working through it all to be honest but like you say it’s important to take care of ourselves too. We were given a chemo diary so I’ll ensure my husband fills it in but will keep my own notes as well. I think you’re right about just writing a message as it gets the thoughts out there rather than just bottled up inside. Take care and hope this round goes well.
