Scared beyond belief

I understand that he wants to keep it between the 2 of you but you need to try and get him to understand that you need to tell people unfortunately it’s not just about him you are important in this too. Is he still quite well in himself? My father in law was already extremely poorly before we got a diagnosis. Not that we have a full diagnosis yet the consultants are being very vague about it, it’s like they don’t want to say the word cancer. Your children are old enough to know that there is something going on and will be wondering and worrying. No one wants to have to tell loved ones that they are sick but I would guess people won’t thank you for keeping secrets. It really sucks and sometimes you are going to have to do what’s right for you. 

My partner isn't well this week. They're keeping an eye on his chest infection. We don't know if his cancer is worsening, it's the infection or the immunotherapy reaction worsening before improving. I started to really feel it for the 1st time today as he mentioned funerals and if he'll make it to next year. I am also so scared as we have no children and the only family we are in touch with don't live near us. It is scary but keep carrying on. I am looking to any support I can find. 

I am so sorry to hear you husband isn’t well, mine is well at the moment which makes me feel even more guilty for feeling so shattered. 
I’m so glad there is this space to vent and talk it does help especially when others are in a similar position. Patsy66 always happy to speak directly, don’t know if that’s something we can do here xx

My wife is stage 4 and we have an 11 and 15 year old. We've been very open from the start with all our friends and family and school acquaintances. It's really helped as there's always someone to call on. 

We've told the kids everything from stage 2 diagnosis 2 years ago to the stage 4 a year ago. She's taken a turn for the worse over the last month - from being able to walk a mile or more to struggling to get from her chair to a bed. 

Each development can be explained to the children as they have awareness of where we are. Children have emotional intelligence and they will pick up on atmospheres. Consider telling them. It'll be hard but for the best ultimately. I'm strangely comforted by their stoicism and resolve.