Good evening peoples, my husband has firstly a heart problem - atrial fibrillation. He then had a colon cancer confirmed but which was removed during a sigmoidoscopy. This last week, following a routine MRI follow up, he now has to have another sigmoidoscopy. During the very first follow up MRI for the colon cancer they found he had lung cancer. This is being treated by chemo and then radiotherapy. During the break between the heart trouble and then the colon cancer he was showing distinct signs of early onset dementia. He is 77 years old. This dementia is now beginning to have a really bad effect on me - so far I've managed to handle all the other things that are/were wrong with him but this dementia is proving to be almost unbearable for me. I totally love him; can't imagine life without him; went to pieces a couple of weeks ago when he was hospitalised with the atrial fibrillation again, and would/will do anything to make his world better. Please - how do I handle this dementia? It's breaking my heart. He has no short term memory. Is nasty - something I know would absolutely mortify him if he knew he was being so. I'm feeling rather sad at the moment and also worrying about the forthcoming sigmoidoscopy.
Hi zebra
My experience with something like dementia is disconnected from my experience with cancer and I find it hard to imagine how difficult this must be for you. My dad slowly disappeared in front of us with a series of seizures but his strength remained and given my mum had osteoporosis she was at real risk of broken bones if he gave her a strong hug. Like you comment my dad would be mortified to have been seen like that. Unfortunately as much as we loved him we had to take a decision to move him to a care home where he could get the support he needed 24/7 and we could become loving partner and children rather than full time carers.
Has your partner had a needs assessment? It can be helpful at the same time to get a carers assessment for you - see the link here
Well done for posting on here - it took me a long time to reach out for help - perhaps typical of a man 
- remember if you need an instant fix our helpline is for everyone - I have cried at them in the past.
kind regards
Steve
