I dont know if I'm strong enough for this

I’m so sorry for your loss Jude. Thank you for your strength to have shared yours and John’s journey. I’m sure having felt broken would have been ‘normal’ and I dread this feeling again myself.
My husband has a diagnosis of GB stage 4 and has had surgery and just about to start his final month of oral chemo. 
X

Thank you for your kind words alyg..it’s been an incredible journey up to yet. Please stay strong, all of you. I never ever thought I would be in this position. But as I know hundreds go through it every day, it still doesn’t make it any easier. The support on her really helped me. Showed me that I shouldn’t carry guilt for the feelings I had before he passed away. It’s all so very normal. Best wishes to you all

jude xx

Hi Daisy…was just reading through this forum once again. How’s things with 

xxxx

Well after justb8 months and the fight of our lives Terry passed away peacefully at home last week. We kept him home the whole time with no hospital admissions but a wonderful team of doctors, nurses, carers and family doing everything they could to make it as well as it could be. 

It was exactly how it should be, I was holding his hand, stroking his head and talking and singing to him. Our grown up children were here and he slipped away peacefully.

I hope everyone of you and your loved ones get the ending we had.

Sending love and strength to you all

Hazel x

Oh hazel, I am so so sorry to hear this. I had exactly the same..my kids were here, we had music on, and John died peacefully at home..try and stay strong my darling. It’s bloody hard, and everyday will be different. Take all the help and time you need to start this new journey..

love and hugs

Jude x

I am sending you my very warmest wishes. I am happy that your husband’s death was all it could have been. My husband Stephen died on Monday 17th June just before 6pm.  For him too, the end was quiet with no struggle or pain, and I was with him.  

I'm so sorry for your loss. My husband passed away at home in March. Like you, we our grown up children and  extended family were with us. It was exactly what he wanted and with the help of the district nurses and hospice we were able to keep him at home until the end. 

I feel his loss every day but I'm so grateful for the the privilege of having him in my life for so many years and being able to look after him until the end.

He was such a wonderful, strong man and we are all trying to get on with life without him as his one real concern was that we would be ok.

Take care and look after yourself. 

Becky xx

Hi I feel so lost at present .my husband has multiple myeloma.for 8 years and now the end is near I care for him at home . It is the most difficult time off my life .seeing him from a strong independent men to what is happening now is so frightening.  It has all happened so quick. Our life's together will be no more soon . It is hard work and a very cruel cancer disease .very very cruel .no one tells you what to expect .but believe me it's the hardest thing to care for him at home . But my promise was to look after him till the end .and I shall do that till death us do part . Every day is something new . The emotions the sadness the smiles . I will carry on .even through I wish I could do more and not feel like a prisoner in my own home . I think about everything and don't want to be selfish but what about me sometimes I need help . His family have not bothered for 8 years x to 4 times a day everyday and when I wanted a days break they had a go at me . And now not seen them for 4 days thank god but they could off texted or rang for an update but no . We are not the selfish ones they are . I try and try but nothing I do will change the outcome . He is my rock my soul mate . He made me strong to do this and only him x I wish you all well and remember to look after yourself so you can care for your other half x

Hi my husband is on the same path tho different Type . I had some counselling with Big C and as a result developed a what’s app group for family . I stated how I felt and that I needed visitors but like u say just one at a time or short bursts .that way you are in control .  It’s so stressful … I completely understand what you’re saying . My condolences to those that have lost love ones recently . Sadly I don’t think my hubby will be far behind . Age 54 lung cancer xxx 

MM & Topcat…My heart goes out to both of you…it’s so hard being a career, no one knows unless your living it. I had the same with my step daughter when John was first diagnosed 7 years ago. She didnt want to know when I asked for help. And then when my girls shared his appointments with me, she got jealous ! And so she had nothing to do with us right up till his last diagnosis last sept. John ied without his daughter in his life…I could write a book. I’ve ranted and I’ve cursed. But now I don’t have to think about her anymore. His 2 sons and my 2 daughters were here by my side constantlyup till he drew his last breath. It’s been tough these last 7 years, but more so the last 6 months when we knew it came back. But do you know what? As hard as it was nursing him at home I don’t regrt a minute of it…stay strong, I promise you it’s gonna be tough…but you will get there ️