End of life care

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My mum died on Monday 

She died at my house with an end of life care package organised by the hospital 

She came out of hospital wednesday amd the agreement was a care company 4x a day , the district nurses and hospice nurse involvement 

The care agency were great and made her comfortable

I never saw the district nurses until I phoned them on the Friday afternoon to ask if they were coming and I was told they would cone at sonepoint over tye weekend but they were busy dealing woth people in pain 

Mum became stressed on the Saturday night so I phoned again amd a nurse came out put a port in her leg and gave her half a dose of sedative amd left straight away (why couldn't they sit woth her for 39 mins to check it worked and to support me ) . It never worked and she had one more does . 

The nurse phoned at 6pm amd said she thought I was going to be ringing most of the night so they would cone and set an infusion up which they did 

Nothing worked and she was very agitated amd shouting "let me go " for hours 

She died early Sunday 5am amd I feel completely traumatised by the whole thing and lack of compasion 

I failed her she died at home shouting amd no one cared except me . We never heard from the hospice nurses 

I am a midwife but did my nursing before and can honestly say I would never have left a house qithput sitting and chatting to someone after I'd been to see them especially if I'd given meds 

Sorry this is long I'm just completely traumatised by an event I thought would be very peadfull and care the hospital promised me to get her home and free up a bed and never happened

  • I am so very sorry for your loss, and the lack of support that you and your Mum encountered. You didnt fail your Mum, you comforted her. I realise that the nurses should have attended and helped with her pain and distress.It sounds very traumatic, its not surprising that you are feeling let down, annoyed and emotionally exhausted. My husband is at home at end of life, it's very difficult. Sending love and strength Xx

  • Thank you for the kind reply and I'm so sorry about your husband it must be so hard for you both x

  • Thank you.  We are 3  weeks off being together for forty years. His lung had spread widely before it was diagnosed,  it is now in his brain. New symptoms are arising and we both know that time is short. Take care x

  • This is truly awful,I’m so sorry you went through this .

    im sending you a big hug with love and strength Pray tone1

    Mamma