Sole carer

Hi kgx112d 

Sorry to hear about what you are going through it does sound very difficult. I wonder if it might help you to talk to one of our advisors on the helpline and perhaps look at some options to support you. Many carers do find they need some kind of support themselves - I know it took me a long time before I asked for help.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi…I know exactly how you feel, my hubby has lymphoma , cancer whichever type is draining, although our daughters and grandchildren do visit…ME 

just like yourself life as we knew it is at a standstill, I can’t even take our dog for a walk ( different story ) my life other than a trip to the village shop is probably as good as it gets 

im in a situation now where some days I don’t even get dressed , my hubby doesn’t like me cleaning , yet this makes me feel better , BUT he has restless sleep so I can hardly put the vacuum on can I , changing beds I get WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING , it’s reaching the impossible 

he’s recently had a fit test come back as positive, everything is moving REALLY quick from a call off the doctor on Tuesday to an appoint at the hospital next Wednesday, we’re both finding this scary, yet happy he’s not on a crazy waiting list , yet he won’t talk about it, doesn’t want our girls to know , so I have no one to talk to about how I’m feeling…and he’s not even asked me

im trying so hard to stay positive, but worried about the what ifs , we’ve been together since teenagers , he’s 71 now and I’m 67 ….and neither of us have ever been ill…lucky, we certainly have been, but I’m frightened to death of the future 

I feel just the same ,I can't stop crying ,frightened for the future, my partner of 40 years has bowel cancer ,spread to lungs pelvis & lymph nodes in sacrum .Told yesterday it's incurable , but they're going to try & ' control' it

I can't bear the thought of life without him :-(

It’s awful trying to wear a brave face all the time  , everybody asks how he is ….but nobody asks US how we feel …which to be honest if they did I would crumble…had a good cry in the shower this morning …came downstairs to him apologising for being grumpy , and burst into tears again …but…we carry on , deep breaths and pray there’s a miracle xx 

You should tell your girls so that they can support you and you have someone one to share it with. They will be upset that you never let them know. 
Family support is so important. 
Be a little selfish and look after yourself, otherwise you cannot do your job properly as a Carer. 

I am sole carer for my husband who is in a wheelchair, with kidney cancer that has progressed to his hip. 

Some days I am very grumpy and sorry for myself. The next day I am more positive. 
It’s life Jim, but not as we know it. 

Hi …sorry for the late reply, hubby had his appointment last week , the consultant said he wasn’t concerned but sending him for a scan , the letter came yesterday, bloods an hour before the scan …this Friday 

I’m now thinking …why so quick 

one of our girls know, the eldest, and asks a million questions so I told her , but hubby said until we know what what he doesn’t want them to know…he doesn’t know that she knows …so I’m still keeping things from her too 

I need to keep busy, try to stay positive and try and prise information from my crazy hubby x

The MacMillan helpline  is helpful when you need to let it out and not bother your relatives. Sometimes a stranger who is knowledgeable about the cancer journey is easier to talk to without upsetting anyone close to you . Good luck - do nice things for yourself.