I’m sat here wanting to talk to someone but don’t know who I can express my feelings to
so I thought join the cancer forum maybe someone else can identify with how I am feeling
I’m scared
My husband has advanced prostrate cancer having already spread to his bones by the time he was diagnosed nearly 2years ago all available treatments have now finished and he is on palliative care
He struggles with mobility and it has through treatment we’re told meant he has cataracts and can’t see too well
the last few weeks have seen him suffering nausea/vomiting on an almost daily basis he eats very very little and is beginning to say more and more that he can’t be bothered
he forgets things and struggles to bring words to mind at times
he’s tired and sleeps a lot
all standard I know but scaring me none the less
I keep thinking how long can he go on like this which makes me feel guilty
he even now insists he will improve from this and is in complete denial
he always says he’s fine when anyone asks and exaggerates his capabilities and activities
I find this so frustrating to listen to but I never contradict him as I’m scared of upsetting him how stupid does that sound
I feel so lonely although my family and friends are great and try to be supportive
I feel so guilty that I think he’s nearing the end am I wishing that on him is it happening or is it me seeing deterioration and thinking it as according to him he’s got years
what will the next few weeks or months bring
as you can tell if you’ve got this far I’m confused/scared and guilty
hard to put into words
please tell me I’m not the only one with these jumbled feelings
D.
