Just Reaching Out x

Hi Ellen 

Sorry to hear about your mum and all that you and your family are going through at the moment. It must be so difficult for you living such a distance away too, whilst caring for your mum. 

I’m 31 but with 2 young children and also trying to be there to care  for my mum who has incurable brain cancer. Like you I feel the pressure of juggling everything! I’m working full time whilst doing a degree apprenticeship, being a mum to my 2 children, a partner, and a career for my mum. I feel constant guilt for not being in every single place all at one time, even though it is just not possible. Although our circumstances aren’t exactly the same I wanted to reassure you that you’re not alone. I’m having a particularly bad day today, so being on here just reminds me that there are people out there that do truly understand. 

Sending love x 

Hi,

It sounds like we are, unfortunately, in quite similar positions.  My mum was diagnosed about 5 weeks ago, advanced lung cancer which has spread.  Incurable, but treatable.  Also have been told it is a very aggressive form of cancer.  She has started chemo and immunotherapy.  I live almost 200 miles away, work full time and have a young child too.  Luckily she has plenty of support from her partner, family and friends close by to her.  Like you, we are trying to keep positive and hopeful but to be honest, that in itself is so exhausting.  I don't have much advice to offer other than to say you are not alone, sadly there are so many people faving this horrific situation.  Please feel free to add me and message on here if you would like someone to talk to, rant to or just offload too.  Sending love to you and your Mum x

Hi lovely,

So nice to hear from you. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum too. Caring for a parent with incurable cancer is so difficult to accept and cope with. I can’t imagine going through this as a mum of two, that must be really hard.

As you say, even though our circumstances aren’t exactly the same, I really understand how tough it is to take everything in all at once. Even though we want to do absolutely everything we can to support, sometimes it just isn’t possible. I think that’s what makes it so hard sometimes, trying to be there at such a difficult time for someone you love, while also being logistically unable to be there all the time. Also really hard to be there for other people who love you and need you too. My father is elderly and really struggling at the moment so I understand how it is to have multiple people to think about and care for while also trying to care for yourself. It can be hard to put yourself first sometimes, but being here and talking helps us to be there for ourselves so that we can be there for them. 

We all have bad days don’t we, and I hope you managed to find some peace.

Please take care of yourself lovely xx

Hi Sade, 

It does sound like we are in very similar positions. I’d say my mum’s diagnosis was around 5 weeks ago as well and she had her first round of treatment (also chemo and immunotherapy) a couple of weeks ago. It’s a lot to take in isn’t it? I’m sorry to hear you are going through this too. It must be hard looking after your little one on top of all this as well. I’m sorry. 

I know exactly what you mean about it being exhausting keeping positive, I really related to what you said there. It’s especially hard when my mum is having a good day and wanting us all to enjoy time together but I’m having a bad day so I have to pull it together to keep her smiling. It’s sort of timing your emotions with each other as a family really isn’t it? Very difficult.

Thanks for offering to chat. I am more than happy to add you so we can talk to each other. Remember you aren’t alone in this either x

Sending love x

Hi Valentina - wanted to reach out  I'm 44 but I am also my mums only child and we were diagnosed with stage 4lung cancer back in July Nd only now had it started feel real and hurt ..sending u a huge hug having no siblings makes it feel harder as u shoulder so much and have to sort everything  thinking of u xx

Hi! So sorry you’re going through this, sending you so much love and support.

I’m an only child, similar age as you and currently caring for my mum but it’s just me.. no other family near by.

I completed understand you and your situation and here for chats anytime! 

Sending love xx