I feel like this too. I feel like my mum is coping way better than I ever. Could I feel like I’m falling apart. Well she’s just getting on with it.

your mum is your mum. She's cared for you since you were born, it's natural to regress and be emotional as your mum has always been the one to care for you. always seemed strong.  Don't be hard on yourself, let yourself be sad and don't ignore your own feelings  - they are valid. If she's anything like my mum then having you present will be a support to her, and she'll want you to take care of yourself too. try to do some small things for yourself and enjoy the little things in life.

Well you are going through the normality of being a carer Unicorn 13. I am nearly 70 extremely lucky in life and very grateful. Husband is 78 and has advanced cancer. We have come away to regroup as he has finished chemo. How lucky ? answer very. Reality I regress to a child expecting some magical fairy to say "it's ok, it isn't happening" He on the other hand is resigned and coping. When a bad day hits for either of you wisdom goes out of the window. Reason accompanies it. Never beat yourself up about it if you can possibly help it. Sending love

I am in a similar situation. My mum and I are very open about it all. It is her opinion that it is sometimes easier for those affected to deal with the diagnosis than those around them. When my mum was diagnosed I couldn’t function whereas my Mum just accepted it. She says there comes a point in life especially when you are older that you accept these things. She lost her sister to cancer 30 years ago and she says that she found that harder than her own diagnosis.

From personal experience- it’s a shock - I went into panic mode. However I found that once we had a treatment plan and I got more into a routine that it became easier and I became more accepting of it although I still have wobbles but found this community really supportive 

I suppose what I am trying to say is that it’s okay to feel the way you do and it will become more manageable. Write down ways in which you think you can support her, taking her to appointments; taking her food; perhaps food shopping together, an activity together. - jigsaw or something. Picking up prescriptions. Finding out about benefits or support services. You and mum may not want to use them now but k owing they are there is reassuring.

Tell her that you are upset and you want to do what you can to make it easier for her but she needs to let you know. 

Tell your teenager thst there will be times where you might be quiet or upset but that’s okay. Let them know that you might need some support from them whether ut be them making their own dinner or lunch for school - tidying their room or perhaps not relying on you for lifts.  Communicating with them about your emotions and expectations provides them with security and they will want to help their Mum too

it is a really difficult time and a lot to process but use services such as Macmillan and Maggie’s to help guide you through it.  

You will be a support to your Mum - remember it comes in so many different ways. 

keep on keeping on 

cx

I'm the same, so don't feel alone. My mum was diagnosed with a Brain tumour, terminal cancer 10 weeks ago. Rushed in to hospital had to have an major operation the next day. She's just had 2 weeks of radiotherapy and now we are waiting for another MRI scan. Mum has been amazing, i on the other hand keep crying. I think this is the hardest thing I've ever had to face. I am a carer for both my parents, as Dad has COPD. He's putting on a brave face bless him. It's just all happened so fast it's alot to take in.

Don't be too hard on yourself try and make a little time just for you. A walk, do some art whatever relaxes you and takes your mind off things for just a little while. I'm finding Art is best for me find 30 mins a day to sit and draw or paint. I can't watch anything too emotional or sentimental. A favourite comedy programme is good too something light hearted. It can be so overwhelming all this and its just awful. But living for the day, day by day is the way I feel I can cope best. I try not to think too much of what might happen ( easy said then done)  it's breaking my heart  

This truly hits home for me but for me it’s both my mum and sister seem stronger than me when it’s my mum going through the terminal cancer I feel scared and want to be stronger just wish there was more support 

my mum is terminal.

I came here because I didn't know where to turn. my mum has terminal cancer and other complications and I just can't bear it.  I can't function with the overwhelming sadness. we have just been told after 3 months of testing for another illness that the cancer is not curable and no treatments are available. i cannot go to work, I can't speak to my mum as I just fall apart. I lied and said I am at work and cannot come over because I just fall apart. and that makes me feel guilty because it's precious time I'm missing with her. my children and brother are stronger than me and have been amazing. I just don't know what to do