My mum was recently diagnosed with Small cell lung cancer with secondary cancers in her brain and liver. Was a huge shock to us all and devastating.
She currently lives in an over 55s house but in an upstairs flat, we have discussed her moving in to my home but she is very reluctant but her feet and legs have syarted to swell and I fear she'll end up in that flat until she passes! I need to try and encourage her to move in with us, but how do I do that? I want to respect her independence etc but the longer we leave it the more worried I get that we won't get her out of the flat and she's reluctant to have carers.
Just some advice would help please
Thank you
Hi France14
I think possibly the first thing any of us need to learn is how we feel. If we look at your feelings when someone has cancer that can be a good start. I also did a living with less stress course that I found really helpful.
Your mum would be entitled to a needs assessment from her local authority, a professional assessment may pick up a need to have carers and perhaps that might help to convince her - and a least it does not become an item of friction between you.
Perhaps the big thing I had to learn was not to try to look too far in to the future - I was able to invent things that were much worse than what actually happened but in the meantime would be caught off guard by things that were totally unexpected. All the worry stopped me enjoying my relationship with my wife - she has Leiomyosarcoma and has now been living with cancer for about 10 years.
People sometimes look at us and ask how we cope - the best answer perhaps is when were we given a choice.
Welcome to our special club, I hope you find it as useful as I have.
<<hugs>>
Steve
