Hi all, I need some help: my husband has had his last chemo treatment for NHL & we’re waiting for a PET scan date. I have been signed off work, caring for him for most of the year. I’ve done / am doing everything I can for him, but it doesn’t seem like it’s good enough. Lately, he has been really argumentative with me, to the extent that I am in tears every day now with his attitude to me. I get he must be going through things but, again, I do everything I can to help, asking him if he wants me to arrange counselling, he knows he can chat with me as well about things (we had that kind of relationship before). But it does not excuse how he is with me! Sometimes it’s like he has no respect for me at all & I worry if we will ever get that back? He speaks to me appallingly sometimes (usually when it is just the 2 of us, although occasionally other family members have heard him). Everyday I think “ok new day, let’s be positive” but he does the same again. It’s getting so bad now that I just agree with everything he says & I am not starting any conversation at all as he just disagrees & argues with me. My whole life is on hold for him and has been all year, so I only really have him at the moment and I don’t want to keep moaning to my family about him. I feel so guilty for feeling this way too, but it’s just not fair on me. I don’t know why I am posting this: prob because I feel bad and I just need reassurance that I’m not and that it is “normal” to feel like this in this circumstance. Also I’m worried that we will never get back to being a living couple & that he’ll just continue to treat me like this. Sad times.
Hi, I'm new here and this was the first post I've seen. I can so relate to what you've said. It's got to the stage now that my partner has walked out our relationship because I don't show him enough affection. He won't talk to me about his treatment or anything. He's terminal and only has a matter of weeks left. We're supposed to be going on holiday Sunday but he doesn't want me to go now. He's going with family instead. Every day for months now I've walked round on egg shells, doing everything to please him. I don't know which way to turn now. It feels like I've already lost him. We argued loads, something we hardly did before but he couldn't see it was because of him being so nasty daily. I really do feel your pain
I too can relate to your situation. I've joined this community for the similar reason as I'm looking for help or advice. My mum has stage four cancer and is currently undertaking radiotherapy. Today on the phone she was so rude to me because she got tired and sick of her situation and sick of hospitals which I understand and want to listen to her and support her. But every time I try to say something positive or distract her, I get a verbal attack from her end instead. I'm afraid of saying anything because it will be used against me. I'm stuck, I don't know how I can support her. If I try to listen to her, she just ends the conversation abruptly.
It's awful being on the end of your loved ones nastiness. I really don't think they mean it but it hurts so much when they're like they are. I haven't got answer for you as I'm in the same boat, also looking for an answer, if there is one. Take care x
