I’m really struggling today. Been caring for my MiL in our home for a week now. Which in itself is absolutely not a problem. What is causing me issues is all the other people who I have to look after that come along with that. Constant visitors, my own family, my FiL who is also living with us obviously as he wants to spend as much time as he can with his wife while she’s here. But goes back to his own house everyday to pick things up for her, run little errands etc. Anyway. I had arranged for my daughter (the only one still not at home) to come round this afternoon to be with her Granny so I could go and watch my Son play his first game of rugby for his new team and get out of the house I’ve not left for a week and have a bit of breathing space. FiL is now coming too. Is it really bad that I now don’t want to go? If I stay home the only person who will be in will be MiL and she will probably be asleep. What should I do???I feel so guilty about now not wanting to go. I just need a bit of space.
Hi Beetle
Sorry to hear about what you are going through. I am sure many on here recognize that need for a bit of space and indeed many of us who have been caring for some time will recognize exactly where you are coming from. I can however also recognize that your FiL may also be interested in watching his grandson play rugby - and might even want to tell his wife how he did.
Having been living with cancer now for 8 years, my wife has Leiomyosarcoma, I had to learn how to care for me. The journey was not always easy.
One tip from when our son was very young was to put a sign on the door saying something like "we are having a nap, please come back later" - that can help to control the flow of visitors.
Accepting help is something I was not good at - well until I broke anyway. Now I recognize I cannot do it all but best of all is one family who have been a real bedrock to us.
I hope you find your bit of space, we all need time to recharge our batteries.
<<hugs>>
Steve
