We have lived with cancer for our whole relationship, being in and out of remission.
It sounds stupid but all of our other battles have been straight forward (compared to our currently battle).
The first 2 battles were the same cancer with an 2 year gap between the lung cancer becoming active and removed by surgery and little to no further treatment needed.
Our world was turned upside down in November 2021 when a new cancer was found with a rare mutation in his remaining bowel. He had a further surgery to remove the remaining bowel (so we thought great that’ll be it gone).
unfortunately it had spread to his stomach and this cannot be removed as it’s too dangerous and in a untouchable area. We have so far had 2 treatment courses where this nasty cancer has continued to grow and not had any impact. (He has been on treatment since April 2022!)
He is on a third treatment now and we have a follow up appointment next Thursday & I am so scared on next steps. If this treatment hasn’t had any impact. We worry how many more treatment can be offered (because of the rare mutation). I can’t sleep with worry & feel like I’m wishing time away to know the next steps.
We regularly go on caravan holidays to make memories why we can but it’s so hard! I am never a negative person but this is just not giving in.
I do what I can, I work full time, care for my partner and try and be the best mum but I just needed to tell people who may be in the same boat!
Everyone around me are great, but haven’t lived the life we live & sometimes I think they under appreciate how hard it can be.
Hi KPD2104
It does sound like you have been through a huge lot and that is something we share - my wife has had cancer for ten years now and some of the treatments she went through created other problems that needed solved too. Our son is 19 now and is far too familiar with hospitals.
Totally get what you mean about people close to us though. At school lots of the other parents would say something like "oh she looks so well" - very well meaning of course but not exactly helpful. The staff in the school though were wonderful with helpling to ensure Michael got consistent answers both at school and at home . My wife's cancer is rate anyway, Leiomyosarcoma, so what statistics there are are close to useless anyway.
What helped me most was a living with less stress course. It helped me recognize that I was living my life in the future without my wife rather than appreciating what we had. Life of course still likes to throw curve balls and the conscious breathing stuff is very good at being able to take a step back, take a deep breath before diving back in.
I am so glad you posted on here because while we may not be in exactly the same boat we are certainly all at sea in a storm and talking together can be so helpful.
<<hugs>>
Steve
