My mother became unwell and has deteriorated very quickly. Every time we get measures in place, she deteriorates and can’t use it. E.g stair lift, walkers, electric chair. She is now bed bound, 5 days ago she could walk a little.
I feel desperately sad but I also feel resentful. Partly the process of becoming a carer was not discussed. I’m now living with her and caring for her, struggling with personal care but she wants to stay in the home. I have a young family who I am rarely seeing. I don’t know how I will manage the summer holidays. We have now got carers 3 x a day for 1/2 hour. It’s just not enough. If I’m not with her I worry about her and can’t think about anything else. She wants to die in a hospice but the nurses say she is not quite ready yet. Im struggling and I want my last few weeks to be valuable and meaningful.
Am I a terrible person ? I think I would prefer her to be in a nursing home until hospice. Im awful aren’t I?
You have so much on your plate I am not surprised you find yourself struggling. With both my wife's dad and my dad we ended up using care homes because they could provide the sort of 24/7 care that we could not do at home.
<<hugs>>
Steve
