I'm writing mostly to organise my thoughts, but would be grateful for any perspective or guidance.
My brother died in late February. I had been one of two main carers in his last months. It was gruelling and sad and very disruptive as I know you can all understand. Due to a lot of complex circumstances involving 3 countries, he spent his last days in the UK and my older sister was unable to be present at all in his care. We are all grieving his death in different ways.
In the past few weeks, my father (in the US) who has had slow growing prostrate cancer for some years, is now entering a more acute stage. His wife wants him to be at home, has hired a carer, although she still bears the majority of the heavy lifting. However, she has told me that she is struggling and that she feels overwhelmed by the practical arrangements; organising the will, managing ground transport to and from hospital visits, and so on. None of it is straight forward due to where they live.
My sister lives nearest to him, but does not seem to feel particularly responsible to support in his care or take any initiative at all. I live in another country and have already had significant disruption to my work and home life as a result of my brother's situation. I am ashamed that my primary feeling is anger and frustration with my sister (maybe this is easier to feel than the compounded grief?) and really want her to step up, but she doesn't seem responsive at all. I am still burnt out from caring for my brother and feel at a loss about how to offer any support to my stepmother when I am not living close by. I saw my father recently and he seemed very clear that he was at peace and did not want to prolong his life through cancer treatment, but I don't know if his wife is on board with this. It all seems like a terrible mess and I don't know what I can do.
