Questions to ask about inevitable funeral

  • 4 replies
  • 46 subscribers
  • 371 views

Please could anyone let me know if there is a form available that I can let my husband fill in regarding his funeral wishes as he does not want to speak about it. He has just been diagnosed with terminal stomach cancer. Thanks

  • Hi MargeB

    a warm welcome to the community. Oh good question! And a tricky one!

    Not sure that there is a form as such but there's a useful link on the main website with lots of information. I took the liberty of looking it up Funeral planning | Macmillan Cancer Support

    Or rather than a form, ask your husband to write his wises down and seal it in an envelope for when the time comes. I asked my mum to do that with her choice of hymns years ago after she got quite stressed trying to pick hymns for my grandmother's funeral.

    All of that said, I have very little idea of the plan for my husband's funeral when the time comes. He's in the palliative phase of a stage 4 brain tumour journey. He has given our daughter some instructions but they are quite vague and his choice of music is not necessarily appropriate. (His taste in music is eclectic to say the least!)

    At the end of the day all we can do is our best for them when the time comes.

    love n hugs

    Wee Me xx

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

  • Hello MargeB

    Do you think if he had any strong views about his funeral you would already know about them?

    One side of my family are open to discuss such things. The other side would find it distressing to think/talk about.

    All you can do is your best and be receptive to any hints he drops.

    And my dad has always said funerals are for the living....

    All the best 

    HPT

  • I'm really sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis; it must be a challenging time for both of you. When my grandmother faced a similar situation, we found it helpful to have a quiet moment together where she could jot down her wishes using a pre-planning form we found online. It made things easier when the time came. You might want to check with local funeral homes too; they often provide these resources discreetly.

  • Hello MargeB, I'm so sorry to hear of your husbands diagnosis, I have done an online form called, My Funeral Wishes on the www.hospiceuk.org website, I don't know if a paper version is available, my best wish to you both.

    Eddie xx