My mother in law has stage 4 ovarian cancer. She stopped active treatment a few months ago and my partner and I have been living with her and caring for her ever since. Those of you who are carers will know how exhausting it is. We’re at the stage where she can no longer make it to the bathroom unaided. The other night she needed the bathroom in the middle of the night so she urinated in a bucket so she didn’t have to wake us! A combination of us feeling totally drained, and her needing round the clock care that we don’t feel equipped to do means I think we may be at the stage of putting her into a hospice. However, she’s been finding things so tough herself and I know she would hate to leave her own home, so I don’t want to make things worse for. I feel so guilty for even contemplating it and I have no idea how to even approach the subject with her - so would really appreciate others advice/experiences
Hi Lesley20
It may be worth getting another needs assessment and carers assessment to see if a care home/hospice is appropriate at this stage. Would a respite break be a possibility too that might allow you to recharge.
While it was not cancer with my my father and my father-in-law we ended up in a situation where they ended up in care homes because we were no longer able to meet their care needs at home. Making it as a very clinical decision can help to deal with some of the guilt because it might be ever worse to feel they might suffer simply because we were too exhausted to provide the care they needed.
<<hugs>>
Steve
