My daughter has cancer

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Hi I'm Marion, I'm 66 and I'm widowed with 4 grown up daughters. Last year my daughter Rosie, who's 34, was diagnosed with urachal cancer, which is very rare and pretty well undocumented. She had a successful operation last summer and headed off to Mexico and Colombia to travel. Unfortunately, in March this year she suspected the cancer had recurred and this turned out to be the case. The cancer has spread into her bladder and abdomen and we are currently awaiting an mri on her liver, after which she will undergo chemo. She's now living with me and to be honest i don't know how to begin coping with this. Every day when i wake up is the worst time; I'm convinced shes going to die and that holding onto hope is futile, but through the day i start to be more optimistic. I think it would help to talk to other people who are going through this; the potential death of a child is a terrible thing and i don't know how to deal with it. My husband died 21 years ago of a brain tumour aged 39 and i have this terrible fear that I'm walking the same path all over again.

  • Hi  

    I'm very sorry to hear about your daughter. It must be very hard to deal with as it is not the usual order of things. My own mother finds it difficult to deal with the fact that I have cancer. I am currently stable after treatment and I think she tries to block out the fact that my cancer is very likely to come back. 

    If you find you are struggling and need someone to speak to, the Macmillan support lines are open and they are very helpful, this is the link to contact https://www.macmillan.org.uk/about-us/contact-us

    If you feel anxious or stressed, Anxiety UK have a support line Tel 0344 477 5774 or you can contact them by email www.anxietyuk.org.uk

    There are also charities for carers, these provide support for carers

    Carers Trust www.carers.org.uk

    Carers UK www.carersuk.org.uk

    Keep posting in this group as you will find a lot of support here also. I hope your daughter gets her results soon so that she can get started on her treatment. Best wishes to you both,

    A x

  • Hi Marie ran I don't have a daughter with cancer but my partner of 26 years has metastatic cancer , like you I'm terrified he lives downstairs and I'm terrified ill find him one day ,I'm so anxious all the time all we can do is be there , my oh is doing well on treatment but know this will not last , best thing if you can try to take some time out for you , take care 

  • So sorry to hear of your situation but thank you for your words of support. Youre right; all we can do is be there for them x

  • Hi, my daughter has cancer, she is 44, I am so very sorry you are in this position and I can understand how horrendously hard it is for you with your daughter living with you and watching her struggles every day. We have to try hold onto hope and to know our daughters know we love them so much and will be there with them and for them no matter the journey. It’s so hard not to feel envious of others who can live life freely without this kind of worry. Life can be so unfair and cruel. I bet your daughter is immensely thankful for you being there and having your love and care. Take care