Hi everyone
My husband has lung and brain cancer, diagnosed 17 Feb 2022, it's been a long and tough road but he's been doing so well until a month ago when he started getting dizzy spells - he doesn't want to call the doctor, he's so sick of dealing with hospitals/doctors but my anxiety is through the roof!!!! This is a new side effect and I'm trying to not to put pressure on him and let him manage this as he sees fit but honestly every time I just want to break down and cry but I keep it in because I'm trying to be strong for him. On top of that all friends and family are in South Africa, we've been in London for 4 years now and I'm eternally greatful for the amazing treatment he's had access to here which would not have been the case in SA but I'm terrified of the future:-( He's a British citizen, I'm South African and honestly there are some days I feel so alone I don't know what to do with myself. Everyone back home is super supportive but it's not the same when you're so far away. Trying to stay positive for him and strong for him is becoming increasingly difficult and I'm just worried sick. As I'm writing this he's sleeping another dizzy spell off and it gives me a chance to shed some tears because I feel so desperately helpless and useless that I can't help the love of my life:-(
If anyone reads this I thank you and send you love for anything you may be going through XXX
Hi Silke
a warm welcome to the online community. So sorry to hear about all you and your husband are going through.
I'm supporting my husband through his stage 4 brain tumour journey. He was first diagnosed in Sept 2020 so we've been riding this emotional rollercoaster for a long time...feels like forever some days.
I appreciate it was an entirely different scenario but the oncologist advised me to report any changes I was concerned about to them. The main ones I was told to watch out for were headaches, nausea and seizures. You don't mention when you are next due to speak to your husband's doctor but it might be worth a phone call to them or even to your GP to report your concerns. It might be nothing but you'd be better trying to get him checked out. I can understand only too well what a challenge that can be. One of my husband's key coping strategies is denial and he gets angry with me when I reach out to the medical team or even have routine calls with them. (We are now in the palliative care phase.)
This group is a safe and supportive space so please reach out here anytime. There's always someone around to listen who gets it, someone to hold your hand and to offer that virtual hug when its needed. You're not alone. We're here for you.
It’s always good to talk so please remember that you can also call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
As the "carer" this can feel like a lonely road but please try to take time for yourself to recharge your batteries. I get that your friends and family are abroad and it sounds as though you are in regular contact with them which is great. Even a few text messages can brighten a dark day. For me it helps to get out for a walk even if its only round the block just to get some space away from the house. Taking time for yourself isn't selfish so go to the gym, go for a coffee or a walk. It's essential to do what you can to keep your own inner batteries charged up.
For now though I'm sending you a huge virtual hug and lots of positive energy. Stay strong. You're coping so much better here than you give yourself credit for. You'll just need to trust me on that one.
Love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
