Struggling to cope

Hey. Am new to this cancer roller coaster. However, I have been there with the carer issue. Lack of sleep etc. Before I got help. I am sure you are doing an admirable job but you do need to look after yourself too. Surely there must be help you can get?  I really hope. Keep kicking Hun. I believe you can do this.

I am taken aback by the number of people who say to me 'you seem to cope with this amazingly well'.

Like you I keep my fear, and frustrations well hidden. Not sure this is a good thing, its just how I am. It does make me think, when I look down a busy street, how many other people must there be feeling similarly battered by life, but not showing it!

I am angry about the delays that led to my husband's recurrence, now out of control, just when they were getting on top of his sinonasal cancer. It's just me and him (and often just me) looking for help from people working in a broken and inadequate system ... that doesn't save everyone it could. This is a very negative start to the week - but spending Sunday in A+E again made me feel that way!

Sorry you are feeling that way too. I used to go for a run and cry while I ran. Just now I daren't leave my husband home alone, so it will have to be a cry in the garden, with a cup of tea!

We haven't had to deal with hallucinations (yet) though I know skull base tumours can do that when they press on the brain. Immunotherapy can swell tumours while it is attacking them and cause that pressing too. Do make sure his cancer nurse knows about these symptoms. And it may be time to take a deep breath and let your own doctor know that you are a carer who could do with some help.

It's that a choice whether i kick the Drs or keep swimming. !!!!

I just feel overwhelmed at the moment latest dream shows his humour still there as was seeing chickens on a mattress !! said they were HIGHLY SPRUNG must admit it did lighten mood for a while . Many thanks for your reply

Phoned Drs yesterday after repeat prompting my husband has been prescribed an anxiety drug for the short time which will hopefully help at night as dreams are very vivid at the moment . Weird but vivid chickens on a mattress that were HIGHLY SPRUNG and hundreds of potatoes which he would have were SPECTATORS !!!!! Have to see funny side I guess