The calm before the storm

Hi Snoopy123 

Sorry to hear about your dad and especially that short prognosis. Sorry to that this is totally beyond my experience except that I know all too often people said about my wife looking well when she was very much not.

Perhaps the best bet could be if this is the calm before the storm than make the best of every day.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Sometimes I talk to my mum and sit with her and expect her to spin round, get up out of bed and put the kettle on, she looks so well.

Things can and will change, so if your dad looks well and appears well, make the most of it absolutely.

Thank you its all happened so quickly he was only officially diagnosed 3 weeks ago....I just can't get my head around it. I know it's happening an what it means an he looks nothing like he did but he's my dad my whole world an I can't imagine life without him. I just thought we'd have more time. He was so looking forward to his 70th party in July we all were an breaks my heart I can't tell him he won't make it.

The nurses have been today an taken bloods etc.... they think it's spread to his bones now.  I'm his main carer an spend everyday with him he still has his wicked sense of humor I hope he manages to keep that. I will be there till the end....I just wish it wasn't happening so fast x

I have been exactly where you are now. My mum was diagnosed in late February despite struggling with arm and leg late last year (she was misdiagnosed). Here we are nearing May and my mum is still here, 100% lucid and in her head she is her usual self, despite physically having to deal with everything happening. My mum has it in her bones too - that's the worst part as it affects her mobility and comfort so much.

Don't tell your dad he won't make his birthday. Let him look forward to it, either as a celebration or a goal, and just see what happens.

It will take time to get your head around, and you will be able to a lot better in time - though I still cannot believe it myself still fully - and I feel exactly the same about time and what we will lose. It's horrible, but don't let those thoughts rob you of the time you do still have together.

Hi Nicky, 

My father is in pretty much the same boat as yours. 

After a 2.5 year battle and the 'all clear' given 4 months ago...its back in the lungs, lymphnodes and liver. Ironically the only place still showing clear is his Bowel (the primary) We were told the same, he has 3 months. 

I just can't see how either- he seems so well! The occasional ache or pain, yes. But he's managing to do so much still, he was up cleaning his gutters on the ladder 2 weeks ago- despite us offering to do them! 

I feel the same as you, How? Will it happen quickly? It's causing me such anxiety. 

Sending so much love to you and your Dad xx