Can't do this anymore

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I'm sorry this post my upset you but I just can't do this anymore I'm absolutely broken mentally and emotionally spiritually. I have done amazing since my mother was diagnosed with cancer in December iv done everything care and medication made sure she isnt in pain iv done my best but I can't do this. For three days my mother has been completely unresponsive and had the death rattle and nothing she is still here 3 days I thought when they had the rattle that it wasn't long I know I sound like I'm rushing her off but I have watched this beautiful strong woman lose everything the last four weeks all dignity all human abilities she doesn't even resemble the woman she was looks nothing like her self she has been the through hell and I want this over for her I want her at peace I can't sit watching her breathing waiting for death for 3 days iv watched iv had no sleep its killing me. I'm sorry if I scare people it's been a awful awful journey cancer is the worst thing in the world it strip's the person you love of everything they are. I'm trying to tell my self I can do this last bit of the journey for my mum iv done everything up till now kept her wishes her dignity best I could but I can't do this bit I can't wait and watch her die its just to hard I'm broken and falling apart. Had anyone else experienced this and did it take as long for you how did u manage. Thank you and I'm sorry it's not nice to read xxx

src60 over 1 year ago

Hi Darling34

You have gone so far above and beyond for your mum you have absolutely nothing to apologize for, it is an impossible situation and many would have broken before now.

Could I ask you please - ring the helpline here - 0808 808 00 00 - it is open 8am to 8pm. I have spoken to them (or mostly cried to be honest) in the past and they are wonderful and it can really help just to hear another human voice.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Darling34 over 1 year ago in reply to src60

Thank you I have thought about phoning but honestly don't know if I could get any words out if I spoke right now. I know there is nothing that can help this right now watching someone you love dieing is impossible

Wee Me over 1 year ago

HI Darling34

I have no words to take the heartbreak away. I truly wish I did.

I'd echo Steve's advice. Give them a call.

Talk to her. Tell your mum its ok to go. You've done so much to support her but perhaps she needs to know you'll be ok once she's not here. Mothers protect us till the last.

Sending you a huge virtual hug and all the strength I have to spare.

love n hugs

Wee Me xx

Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

Darling34 over 1 year ago in reply to Wee Me

Hi thank you she is a strong woman she really is even the amount of medicine she is on the nurses said they can't believe it. Iv told her it's ok I will be fine. I even tried today saying I'm going out coz some will go when they are alone. She's just a fighter and I'm so proud of her for that but it's her time now to be at peace she deserves it so much

Chicadee16 over 1 year ago

I am so sorry you are going through this. Horrendous to lose your mother this way. I wouldn't worry about crying on the phone, they are used to it I would say, and they may be able to help you a great deal. Sending love and hugs x

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