Beginning of Journey

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My husband had a colonoscopy on Thursday and they found a 5cm lesion. Now waiting for MRI and CT next week to see what stage it is.

We're both in a state of shock.

I'm absolutely terrified about what's going to happen now.

How do you all cope.

We're both convinced it has spread and there's no hope, but not saying this to each other.

How am I going to do this journey?

  • Hi  

    Bowel cancer is not really part of my experience of cancer - well yet at least since I had my own adventure the other day but looking at this page I can see that A lesion may be benign (not cancer) or malignant (cancer) - still a worry whichever way of course.

    As for how you are doing - if we look at Your feelings when someone has cancer you are just like everyone else on here very normal - in our new world normal anyway.

    What helped me was doing a living with less stress course. It taught me to concentrate more on the next step since I could easily imagine disasters ahead - many passed without ever becoming true. I also learnt a trick in conscious breathing, helps me relax but also good when life decides it is time to throw another curve ball. Transcendental mediation though simply did not work with me - it just made me laugh.

    <<hugs>>

    Steve

    Community Champion Badge

  • Its a strange, new and scary world we find ourselves suddenly a part of. Try and look on the positive side, ie, it might very well be treatable and not as bad as you think. As humans we are conditioned somehow to expect the worse case scenario which may not be the case. Waiting for scan appointments is nerve wracking, in some ways it is worse not knowing what you are facing. All you can do at the moment is wait it out, I know how hard it is to try and stay positive, but you at least have the hope that it may be treatable and not late stage as you are fearing. How do you do this journey? Tiny steps. Just one tiny step at a time. Something that helped me was to make a list of all the things that was scaring me, practical as well as emotional. I tried to be proactive and deal with the things I could, sorting out finances, wills etc. It didnt make it less scary but did give me a tiny sense of taking back control. Feeling like you have had the rug pulled out from under you is terrifying, maybe you could try talking about it with each other? He might want and need to talk but doesnt want to upset you, but you both might feel better if you do. Sending hugs xxx

  • Thank you so much for your reply. Xx

  • Yesterday we were told my partner has bowel cancer and we know it’s spread. Hope seems invisible and I’m in the same place as you 

    I don’t know how I am going to do it either . We are waiting on scans too . We can’t find with words either .

    you are not alone 

  • I am so sorry. It is a living waking nightmare. Waiting for scans is especially hard as you dont actually know what you are up against. Just know that there are others feeling just like you and just as terrified. Its a club none of us asked to join. sending you love  and hugs xxxx

  • Thank you for your reply. My hubby and I went to urgent care gp at the hospital today as he had such bad stomach ache, hot sweats and nausea all night. Didn't tell me until this morning. Doctor told him to take co-codamol. Don't think it's helped much. He's planning on going to work tomorrow.

    It's so hard watching the "rufty tufty" hubby be like this. He's gone for a lay down now.

  • My hubby has a CT scan on Sunday and MRI on Tuesday. So not too long to wait. Just the wait after that for the results.

  • Hello! Your reaction is normal.  You have had a hell of a shock and the fear just takes over when you first hear this news.  But just remember that the shock passes over the weeks ahead and you start dealing with it one day at a time. Try not to look into the future and worry, just take one step, one day at a time.  Sending big hugs x

  • The waiting is the worst thing. We just try to enjoy our 'normal, everyday' moments throughout each day.  X