Hi everyone, I am so thankful to have found this place. My partner of 32 years has been diagnosed with cancer. She has lost so much weight in a very short space of time. she has a ct scan tomorrow to know the extent. She is needing a lot of care as she is so weak from the weight loss, otherwise she is ok. I just feel so lonely and desperate, and so tired. I desperatly want some time for myself and my small business (which is suffering) but this makes me feel so guilty. Has anyone felt this way?
Hi Crystalwitch
a warm welcome to the group. So sorry to hear about your partner. Not knowing is harder than knowing so I hope the CT scan goes smoothly and you don't need to wait too long to hear the results.
I've been supporting my husband through his stage 4 brain tumour journey since Sept 2020 so I can relate to a lot of the feelings you mention. They are only natural. We've all been there in this group and many still are there.
This group is a safe and supportive space so please reach out anytime. There is always someone about to listen who gets it, someone to hold your hand and to offer that virtual hug when its needed. You're not alone.
It’s always good to talk so please remember that you can also call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
I also took the liberty of pulling some info from the main website that might help you . here's the link Supporting someone | Macmillan Cancer Support
I also wrote a blog for the online community a few months back that might give you another insight into the role of the carer “I’m fine”: how do you really cope as a carer? - Macmillan Online Community
Something I have come to understand is that taking "me time" isn't selfish - it's essential to help you keep your own wee batteries charged and ultimately put you in a better/stronger position to support your partner. Talk about it and make time to take the time- even if its only an hour here or there. Perhaps a friend could keep her company while you dedicate some time to your business.
It's funny you mentioning this today. We're nearing the final stage of my husband's long battle and tomorrow is the first time I've actually asked one of his friends to "baby sit" while my son and I go out to a concert. We've had the tickets for months and had no idea where life would be at once the date came round. Half of me feels guilty for having to ask our friend to help but the other half recognises that I need the time away from the house (as does my son). I guess at the end of the day it's all about finding a balance that works for you both.
I hope this has helped a little.
Sending you a huge virtual hug. Stay strong. Stay positive....and remember to breathe.
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
