Don't know what's safe to feel

Hi Miracle2023,

  I can't give you a miracle story but my wife was diagnosed with womb cancer this time last year. If you click on my profile you can read her story. Long story short it spread like wild fire and in April we were told it was incurable and they didn't know if chemo would work and chemo was her only option. At the minute she is fine, life is as normal as it can be obviously it's never going to be the same.

  My wife is in the incurables forum on here might be worth a look as most of them have gone well past their sell by date as they say.

  Don't give up hope. I felt exactly the same as you watching her go through chemo it wasn't nice, but you never know.

x

I.m in the same situation, I try and stay positive as much as possible. I don't think I can prepare for the future, I will have to deal with it as it happens. Most days I just try and stay in the present moment and appreciate that he is still here. Incredibly difficult and painful.

Thank u for ur support. I had no idea there was an incurable forum too. I will definitely take a look.

Thanks again

Xx

Hi Miracle2023,

I am trying to be practical and prepare for possible changes such as buying my husband a new, smaller bed which will fit in the dining room downstairs and changing pathways outside in case he needs to be permanently in a wheelchair. We do not know how long he has got left - the median survival rate for multiple myeloma is 5 years - but he was diagnosed late so he will probably not have that long and he’s too old for a marrow transplant. I try hard not to think about him actually dying and he simply won’t discuss it so we just have to live each day as it comes. I so feel for you but know that you have « friends » on this forum to whom you can express all your fears. It helps me to talk about it.

I really understand where you’re coming from and I also don’t know how or what to feel or think about. I’ve kind of just decided to let myself feel stuff but not for too long before I try and bring myself back to the present. I am scared about my husband dying, no idea how I will cope on my own etc but don’t want to ‘waste’ time now thinking those things while he’s still here. He has oesophageal cancer and we’re in limbo not knowing if he can or can’t have an operation. Even if he can we’ve been told the odds of getting all the tumour are poor. I hope you do get some good news x

Hi Miracle2023

i totally understand and share your feelings. For me it’s the ups and downs I’m finding hard to cope with and, like you say, not knowing whether to be practical or positive when it feels so hard to be both. I try to take one day at a time and focus on the little things like seeing the sunshine this week. I know that sounds simple, and believe me it doesn’t always work, but that and knowing I’m not the only one feeling like this can help.