Help needed

Hi LAB666,

I'm new to this forum and just realised myself after reading some post including yours, is that, everyone goes through these roller coater emotions. Sometimes I think...who's going through the worst.....patients themselves or the carer? Cancer is evil but this community is kind xx 

So sorry to read what you’ve been through this last 15 months. It sounds like you’ve been through absolute hell and I can’t believe your friends would think that you’re complaining. I can understand you withdrawing from them though; I feel disconnected from my friends at the moment, because whatever their intentions are, they just can’t begin to understand how I’m feeling. Don’t be so hard on yourself; it sounds like you’ve endured an absolute rollercoaster and you’re definitely not a failure. Have you thought about ringing the support line? It does sound like you could do with offloading to someone and it’s easier to talk to a stranger. I’m sure they would reframe this for you, point out how brave and courageous you are and what a wonderful job you’re doing, supporting your husband in such difficult circumstances. Please be kind to yourself. Give yourself some TLC. Sometimes we forget to love ourselves. Big hug  

Hey LAB666...

That sounds hard. 

Agree with everything Mona Lisa has said.  Don't be hard on yourself - you are not an awful friend and you certainly aren't a failure.  You are someone who is legitimately hurting and doing your very best just to survive in a difficult situation.  Your friends will not think any the less of you - they will just want to do what they can to support you.  Keep talking to them - and maybe even admit how much you are struggling even as a friend - just so they can reassure you.

If you are wondering whether you should see a doctor... get in touch with your GP and ask for an urgent appointment.  As a minimum, they should be able to set your mind at rest that you are being completely reasonable and also put you in touch with services in your area that may be able to help.  Even if it is only somewhere you can go and talk with someone. 

In addition to the Macmillan helpline, there are local cancer support charities who are there for everyone - not just the person who is suffering.  I've heard good things about Maggie's and Wessex Cancer Trust in my area - both of which have provided excellent support for families I know - though (for reasons) we haven't accessed them.

I hope you manage to find some support soon.  Keep putting your thoughts down here.  We will do what we can to support you.

Big hugs...
Pete

I know that feeling of drowning and keep questioning if I need to go dr's myself. I've read a post that said, if your questioning if you need to seek help for your mental then, then you've answered the question.