Uneasy with husband's decision

Hey madaboutmutts...

It's not selfish to want to have your husband around.  And it is good that you are able to talk about it together - you shouldn't just keep quiet - this affects you as well.  And part of the process of him making a sensible decision is being asked the questions by you.

You both want the same thing - to enjoy your life together... the only difference is that you think treatment is your best chance, while he thinks treatment will likely make your life together worse.  And the tricky bit is that no-one can know for sure.  You have to make your decision together (and inevitably he gets the casting vote!) and then make the most of things.

It really sounds like you have talked it out well between yourselves and his consultant - faced the facts and come up with a plan that can adapt to meet a changing situation.  I don't think the two of you could have done much better than that given the situation you find yourselves in.

Pete  

Hi no of course youre not being selfish, you want the best for your husband and family.  My dad had prostate cancer but also had Myacenia Gravis and couldn't face radiotherapy and refused it, aged 61.  He continued to be monitored and had hormone injections for the next 15 years.  My dad passed away in april last year due to his other health conditions and not his cancer.  I just wanted to tell you this as it might allay some of your fears.  I know my dad and your husband are not the same people with the same diagnosis but it might give you a little reassurance that the hormone treatment can be very effective. 

Ultimately we somehow have to make peace with the decisions that our loved ones make, only they know how much they can go through but that isn't easy.  Are you talking to anyone? Is anyone supporting you?  

Thank you so much.  Yes my two daughters are very supportive but sometimes I feel I can't tell them how worried I am, as I don't want them to worry about me as well as their Dad!  The consultant was quite pushy about the radiotherapy and didn't take kindly to husband's decision. I do feel sometimes they just see the condition and not the person. Your Dad's experience is reassuring, but I'm so sorry for your loss. 

Hi ya just wanted to say I agree with him having a father in law that died of a stroke during prostate cancer treatment (i think we were told there was an increased risk) I wish we had spent more time doing nice things with him. My husband also has cancer now and is trying to stop chemo so I understand your point too. There will be a point where my husband wants to stop and I have to get my head round that. Sending hugs xxxx