My fella P has started chemotherapy and has approximately another 10 to go and I don't know how to carry on doing the normal things like, work, shopping and caring for my mother without putting him at risk. Somehow, we got a viral infection which I can fight off, but P had to stay in hospital with slight pneumonia and I don't know how to prevent that happening again. How does everyone else cope with this please? We aren't really socialising at the moment and he has been advised not to go out too much in the cold.
Hi Dusty
When my wife was going through chemotherapy she did get a couple of infections that meant she ended up in hospital on IV antibiotics - it happens to us all unless we put everything in a sterile bubble and clearly by sending him home the hospital does not believe that is needed.
Perhaps a bit like when covid was at it's high the basics of cleaning hand when people come home - though I know some friends who would change all their clothes and shower - just in case.
If we look at Looking after someone with cancer you can see a whole range of things to think about - and among them perhaps one I had to learn was remembering to look after me.
<<hugs>>
Steve
Hi Dusty,
It's very tricky, isn't it? You need to live your lives, but you don't want to do anything that could lead to harm for your partner.
I don't have any brilliant suggestions, I'm afraid. I think Steve is right about comparing to COVID times. If you think of your mother as "in your bubble" (I'm assuming she is not wildly socialising) she is probably not too much of a risk. Shopping is just a case of being careful. And in regard to work, simply making sure that people know that you are being extra careful and could they please not come around you if they have colds with maybe dispensation to work from home (though all this is harder if you work in a public place).
I guess as well it depends on who is doing the socialising. If people came round here to see me when we felt Fi was at risk, they would come and sit in the conservatory and she would stay in the main house. If they were seeing Fi or both of us, then we would try to go outdoors (tricky for you this time of the year). And she would always ask people if they were sick before they came over and tell them not to come if they were. Don't worry about seeming rude. People will completely understand.
We can't get away from the fact that there is always a risk (i.e. you can't prevent your husband getting sick!). The only way to remove it is to do nothing, see noone and that is not realistic and not good for either of your mental health. It is always a balance - we all just try to make the best decision we can.
I don't feel that is very helpful - but it's all I've got. 
Pete
