Can't cope

Hey Darling34...

All your feelings are completely natural and normal.  None of this is okay for you or for your mum - it's horrible.  And yes... the thing I mainly still struggle with is how unfair this all was for Fi.  

You aren't on your own.  We'll be cheering you on :). Evidently you are getting some good support - keeping your mum's pain and distress under control is the most important thing - so I am glad you have managed to do that.

Look after yourself as best you can...

Pete

Hi Pete thank you. Can u tell me who the writer is of the book you said so I can order the right one please I had a look last night and wasn't sure on the right one. 

Found it... A Beginner's Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death Paperback – 30 Jun. 2020
by Dr BJ Miller and Shoshana Berger.
On Amazon: www.amazon.co.uk/.../1501157213 (assuming I'm allowed to post links. It won't solve all your problems but I picked up a few nuggets that made a real difference to me in the last few weeks of Fi's life and the immediate aftermath. I hope you find it useful.

Thank you that's the one I was looking at glad it's that one. 

Hi there how are you doing?    How has your mum been?    I hope she is comfortable and your using the support when you need it.   Xx

Good morning.   How are things with you today?     How is your mum doing is she home from hospital?  

Hello things are going ok thank you mams on good pain meds now so doing much better well better as can be any way. I have counselling today that was umm strange she sat there and I had to talk lol I don't know what I was expecting but wasn't that but I got some stuff out but didn't open up just yet it's very new at the moment. How are u and mam doing today xxx

Morning  I’m glad you mum’s  pain is under control it will make her so much more comfortable.   That’s good you went along to counselling  tho it will be different but I know what you mean I had counselling before for a different situation and they do tend to just let you talk but the next time you go you will probably open up a bit more which will help you.    Mum is ok the doctor has prescribed strong pain relief for the bone mets so she will get biopsy on Wednesday morning.   Yesterday my mum wanted me to phone all my aunts & uncles to let them know the situation as my mum felt it was time to tell them but she didn’t want to do it herself so that was my job yesterday I must admit I fell really anxious but I done it.  They were all upset and it made it feel more real which I found myself  getting really upset last nite.  Anyway it’s done now so mums feels a bit better everyone knowing.   As long as she is ok I will do whatever she wants me too.     

Hi there I'm glad they are doing the biopsy so quick hopefully get the answers as quick as they can. My mum is on short tec and long tec they are called they are very good one to remember just in case your mum needs them I recommend them side affects not so bad either. My mum luckily told the family she's so brave it's crazy but it's so hard speaking with family it does become more real but you just have to cry I think accept that day and get up again hoping it won't be such a sad day tomorrow isn't it every day is so different sometimes every hour is. 

Yeah I can’t complain how quick our local hospital have been with everything considering all what’s going on in the nhs just now.  Ok thanks I will remember they names.    Your mum does sound incredibly brave!    How are you feeling in yourself?  Are you eating & sleeping ok?