Back again

Hi Marco20 

Sorry to hear about your husband. I wonder what type of cancer he has; my wife has Leiomyosarcoma but for her even from diagnosis we have known it was never going to go away. Having said that her cancer has become stable - and has been that way for many years now.

I am not at all surprised by your emotions, I hope you can find some answers to those questions although of course no amount of check ups would have made the cancer stay away, what led to you finding out it was back?

What really helped me cope was a course on living with less stress, the living in the here and now rather that that dark future I cannot control - and it was nearly always worse in my dreams than it was in reality. The conscious breathing techniques that help when live throws a curveball but also can be really good for relaxing too. Transcendental meditation did not really work for me though.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi Steve,

Thank you for your email, I did read it a couple of days ago but haven't been in a place to reply. I'm sorry about your wife, life is just so unfair, how are you all managing? How autistic is your son? Are you able to manage?

Thank you for the tips. I do need extra help with managing stress, I have a dr's appointment to chat over some worries, I keep getting chest pains that wake me up in the early hours. During the day I seem fine. Its not a nice feeling. I have a stress virtual course tomorrow morning, hoping that might teach me ways to manage.

I have found that my work are not as good as my last employer when my husband was sick last time. They were so very supportive but this employer is not, its a massive global bank and they have said if I need time off I can take holiday, I was up for promotion and they've told me I won't be getting that now. They've said I can work from home until the new year but after that I will have to have a meeting with HR to discuss what is next.

My husband cancer is HPV 18 squamous cell carcinoma, he was late out of remission because of the pandemic but they signed him off this year in June where he evidently had secondary cancer then. His first diagnosis was in 2016, given the all clear in June this year, but by September he is riddled with cancer, its everywhere except his brain.

 We can't get in front of our oncology team, its madness

Does anyone else have so much trouble with seeing people?

I hope that you are ok Steve and I do appreciate you emailing me back x

Michael is lovely but does need some help in dealing with his emotions at times. He also is not great dealing with places he is not familiar with so have to "train" him going anywhere new and best to get some alternatives in as well since he could get stuck otherwise - still mobile phones are very useful!

I wonder if it might help you to talk to someone from our work support service as I am sure they could give you information that might help especially with the meeting with HR.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi Steve,

I can relate to Michael,  bless him.

That would be helpful thanks steve.

It's appreciated that you take the time to reply.

Best wishes