How to help

I don't know about the way things work in your hospital, but I'd suggest pushing for contact with the Cancer Nurse Specialist team.  I had to push for this initially (even though our hospital website says you can get their support from the point of diagnosis) but once you're in touch with them they are incredibly helpful. They support family as well as the person with cancer. They work closely with MacMillan as I understand it so if you're having difficulties call the helpline or your local group.  Or, is there a Maggie's Centre in your area? Again, I've found them brilliant.

I am very surprised to hear that she is regarded as untreatable. My husband has Mucosal Melanoma, which started with a nasal tumour. If an operation is not possible, immunotherapy (possibly together with radiotherapy) can be effective. Is she seeing an oncologist as well as the surgeon? I would try to set up an appointment to get a second opinion on treatment options.