Where does one begin when they hate themselves as much as they resent their partner?
My wife (34) has/is undergoing treatment for Her2 Breast Cancer. She is through the Chemo, radiotherapy, surgery but is still receiving Herceptin injections every three weeks as well as taking Tamoxifen daily. The Hearceptin will end in January and the Tamoxifen is for another few years.
Now to the crux of the issue. She has zero interest in any intimacy other than cuddling and there hasn't really been any intimacy since she gave birth to our second child 21 months ago (the cancer was diagnosed before we could rediscover our sex life). She says that she just doesn't feel the urge anymore which combined with the exhaustion, tiredness, body aches and depression that is left behind after a brutal treatment means that I have been left feeling neglected, ignored and useless. This leads to me feeling guilt for my selfishness and then ultimately hating myself. This cycle repeats itself most months leading to me losing sleep, my appetite and self-confidence. I understand that it is wrong of me to complain but I see no end to this. She is so lacking emotional strength that it feels like she is content to let this go on. We have talked about it but the outcome is always "I just don't feel like myself and I don't feel the desire to have sex" She did reach out to the GP a couple of months ago but her referral for therapy was refused on the grounds of there not being any support available to her and we cannot afford for her to have private therapy.
Ultimately, I am so lost, and I'm terrified of losing my wife and the wonderful family we have built. Sex might seem trivial but the past 21 months have been challenging and I really want the opportunity to reconnect with my wife and have the all-round relationship we used to have.
Is it possible to come back from this? Should I just be patient or is patience the opportunity for us to slide even further into this pit?
