Trying to struggle on

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My amazing wonderful mum is currently in hospital, she has been there for nearly 5 weeks. She has Kidney Cancer with mets on her lungs and spine. Amongst other things she now has pneumonia, I am broken. I don’t know how I am going to cope and get through this. Only 2 years ago I lost my Dad in horrendous circumstances. I just don’t know how to function and get through this again. I feel useless, guilty when I am not there with my mum and guilty when I am not at home with my children