Hi all, so my 90 year old father was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer with widespread bone metastasis and in peritoneal lymph nodes in Feb this year.
He was in little pain then but following a fall in May & a partial hip replacement his mobility & pain got worse & we had to get carers into help which was a real battle because he wanted me & my brother to full time care for him even tugh we both work full time & have similar age kids 12 & 16.
Then about 5 weeks ago he got a terrible pain in his back & couldn’t move, I went down after carers left & found him on his bed unable to tmove in agony but refusing an ambulance, Dr call out or 1111. We eventually got him in to see his consultant who he told everything was fine & no problems! I had to put the record straight & he was admitted into hospital where a scan showed cancer spread into spine & urgent radiation treatment needed to stop it going any further into spinal cord.
Fast forward 3 week’s he’s home but in agony and can no longer stand or walk, isn’t eating & still refusing to take enough pain relief to make him comfortable because being a retired pharmacist he thinks he’ll get addicted.
I find myself getting angry with him for being so stubborn & upset at same time because I can’t stand seeing him like that. I’m also struggling with hormones & thyroid issues so am finding it so difficult to deal with Dads ways & the million & one Drs, nurses, carers, adult social workers, appointments, prescriptions, his banking, shopping, washing on a daily basis because he can’t.
He’s 100% with it mentally, just his body failing. I’ve had to accept that I cant force him to take the meds but equally can see he has no quality of life because he can barely move & is in pain all the time. Is anyone else caring for someone so stubborn & if so how do you cope?
