My father was diagnosed with cancer in February and although it was deemed completely treatable so nothing to worry about, it has quickly taken over his body. Two weeks ago he lost the feeling in his legs and then a week later we were told there is no treatment snd he is on end of life care. He's deteriorating every week and seems to be in pain/ asleep when I visit. We are a really close family snd it is heartbreaking I literally cannot imagine life without him- he is our family's rock and my sister and I are young to be going through this 33 and 35! I can hold it together when I'm with my own children but as soon as I'm with him or on my own aka nighttime I just sit and cry! I can't hold it in! I just want to spend time and chat to him but when I'm with him and he's in bed I just can't speak for tears all I can think of is that he's dying and am so sad! My mum and sister seem to be so strong in comparison! At the moment I feel like all I want to do is cry continually how do I stop this (if I even can!) how will I cope?! Also my son is 5 and loves him. He has seen him in his hospital bed (at home) and knows he can't walk but doesn't understand as is wondering why he's always asleep! Any tips on how I tell him and when? I know he'll ask loads of questions and won't quite understand it but I want him to be able to say goodbye properly (if he can!)
Hi Pumpkins
Sorry to hear about your dad, that turnaround from treatable to end of life must be especially hard. I know sometimes I cry but have come to accept it as a form of love overflowing from my eyes. It is very easy to compare ourselves to others and saying they are strong; we also hear on here very often "I must be strong" - rather easier to type than do though.
With your son it might help to look at Talking to children and teenagers, there are notes in there that might suggest things he might be worried about and sometimes seeing them written down can make advice seem more real.
A book that gets some quite good reviews is The Secret C by Julia Stokes - might be worth checking if your library has a copy.
<<hugs>>
Steve
