Ok this might be long and upset some but I really need to get this out.
I feel like I can't do this anymore and it's no just my partner that's making me feel like that. The local hospice isn't helping either!
I met my partner 2 years ago, we started looking for a place to live together last March then he was told he had end stage cancer. So we decided to hold off as we thought neither of us could physically or mentally cope with moving. That was all fine until today. I've been basically told I can't have any input into my partners care etc because I don't live with him!!!!!
I'm the one who's been sorting everything. FFS he nearly died last Friday and is only making sense today yet they're taking his confused state over me!!!
I get we're not married but I feel like they've just shut me out of everything!
Add to that, the bloody useless consultant finally saw him today after he'd been in hospital since THURSDAY and all she said was he wasn't fit enough to restart chemo by which he now thinks she means he will get fitter therefore he can start chemo and everything will be fine!
He's grumpy, miserable and snappy which is nothing like him but I'm the one getting the brunt of it and today I'm totally burnt out.
Honestly if I didn't love him so much I would walk away today. I have health issues and I'm trying to keep myself as healthy as possible but it's hard. Now I've got this crap.
I just want to curl up and cry.
Oh and just to add to things my council bungalow just failed it's electrical inspection and I've got clear signs of subsidence so it looks like I've got to move through all this anyway!!
I thought 2020 was bad, then 2021 was worse now 2022!!!! I don't want to know whats going to happen next year!
