My 54 year old partner has been diagnosed with stomach cancer. They can't operate and we're going for his first clinic appointment today. His chemo starts next Tuesday at Sheffield.
We have an 17 year old son.
I have suffered with depression for quite a few years, since my 31 year old daughter died leaving 2 small children. They now live with their dad who is an ex drug addict. I use the term ex lightly !
Both sets of our patents have passed away. I was estranged from my father after he and my 2 older siblings ganged up on me and my brother and cut us put of caring for our mother who died in 2016.
They didn't allow us to go to the house for the last 2 weeks of her life.
My brother and I were not allowed to spend any time with our mum during her last days and we weren't informed when she died until for a few hours after. Because of this we didn't attend our dad's funeral when he died in 2020 and we haven't seen or spoken to the siblings since.
Anyway, on top of this cancer has now reared it's ugly head and I'm finding it hard to cope. I need help, I'm hanging on but feel like I want to run away from it all.
We've been together for 28 years and are not married simply because we don't see the need.
My other half is still working and I've been working from home since the pandemic started in 2020, I've got several Co morbidity, that make me unable to wear a mask at work and vulnerable to infection.
I work for the NHS in a face to face role. I feel like I'm drowning. Our families and friends have been great and are offering lots of help so we're not alone. I can't stop crying and my other half is not in the mood to talk about anything practical.
Thank you for reading and for any advice.
Hi Traffic
You have been through such a lot so it is not really surprising that you feel scared and helpless - many with far less going on feel exactly the same.
One of the great things on here is we find lots of people in similar situations, if you have not done so already you might like to look at our Stomach cancer forum where there will be people at all sorts of stages and they will no doubt welcome you to that club.
Often we hear people in our carers group talk about having to be strong - well I broke but then I found friends on here to pick me up. I did a living with less stress course that helped me and lucky to have a great welfare advisor in the workplace who has been a great help.
I guess your other half is still trying to come to terms with his diagnosis - it can take some time before we get to the talking stage. With Janice and I we have been on this journey for over 6 years and sort of separately eventually came to the living with cancer place.
<<hugs>>
Steve
