Depressed wife (now carer)

Hi Brummie Lady and welcome to the forum. That sounds like it is pretty grim and difficult for you right now and little wonder, its not easy whats happening to you both.

My concern reading your post is that someone must be able to offer some relief from this and Im wondering if you can contact your GP and ask them to do a home visit with you explaining the situation, or get the Doctors who did the op to speak with you and meet with you if need be to see what can be done re this. You shouldn't have to be putting up with that and your husband certainly should not either. Please do give the GP a call and maybe ask them  to send a District Nurse out to see of they can offer anything by way of products to protect seats beds etc until you get something sorted out.  

If  that doesn't help please do give the Macmillan Line a  call and see if they can offer any advice re this. 08088080000. 

So glad that you felt able to come here and vent and hope you feel better and that you continue to do so because you are not alone on here.  xxxx

Sounds a little like me I feel for you my oh hasn't got a stoma but uncurable cancer ,he's not the same man ,he's always angry,he can't walk well but constantly moans at me all day,I do everything if I tell him he need to calm down and stop talking to me like rubbish he get more angry ,if I go out it's always what time are you back and goes in a mood making me feel guilty,I feel lonely, even my grown up kids have had enough but he thinks  were turning against him I'm exhausted x

Thank you for your support. Have had doctor out and had swabs taken and no infection found. So that's it as far as doctors concerned. Phoned corectal nurse.(charter) his support after hospital discharged him. She just said that's to be expected. Totally normal. Nothing can be done about it. Just get some towel or some protect in his underwear. Nothing to worry about. I could scream. It's disgusting, it smells, it's embarrassing and I'm sure that if they had it they wouldn't be so flippant about it. So much for aftercare. 

Hi Brummie Lady, oh boy, do I get this! My hubby was diagnosed 7 yrs ago, advanced prostate cancer spread into bones, including spine. Seven yrs on, and we've just had a massive decline. I really do feel for him, and I know he's scared. So am I. I'm also grappling with the changes to my life, he is now so dependent on me. Same scenario re going out, it's now a big deal. All the things we enjoyed are things of the past. I feel my house is not my own, his kids and friends are here all the time. I like quiet early mornings, not a mad influx of people. I resent the frequent ' do you not think you should.....'    or ' I'll speak to him, It'll be sorted', as if I'm some inferior / ineffective person. All the 'let us know how we can help', and if you do ask for someone to step in for a couple of hours, it can only be done when they're not doing anything else, not when you need it. Siblings flying in from Ireland, announcing when they;ll be landing, date and time, no discussion of what else might be happening!

I'm desperate for community support. It's early days with the district nurse, mixed views. Macmillan have said they'll get to us when they can! He wants to be nursed at home. I can't transfer him from bed to whatever. Do I have to pay a care agency, as I did when Mum and Dad had dementia?

Oooh I've gone on a rant now. Sorry, this is your thread, guess you've hit a nerve in Manchester! This should at least tell you, you're not alone. And yes, the grumpiness when you're doing your best is very diffiicult.

Sending virtual hugs xxxx

Thanks, I know that other people are in the same situation and worse, but with no kids or family I'm the only one he takes everything out on. So it's nice to be able to have a really good moan without feeling to guilty about it. hugs