Secondary peritoneal cancer unknown primary .. believed to be bowel

Hi my husband has secondary peritoneal cancer (primary bowel) we have been battling with it for almost two years now, and in those two years have managed to go to Saudi and work the F1 as well as Monaco which has been a blast. Initially he reacted well to his treatment however we have been told that the tummy cancer is aggressive and has spread therefore we have come to the end of the line with treatment. He admitted to me yesterday for him it’s bitter sweet as eventually he will no longer be in pain, however I will have to deal with the fall out (family). I am numb but so blessed that he took the treatment as painful as it is and we had that extra time together. Never give up hope and please try to make some happy memories with the time you have left. Sending you a massive hug stay strong he needs you xxxx

Hi Canary

So sorry to read about your husband’s diagnosis. My husband was diagnosed last year with Stage 4 NSCLC which had spread to his lymph nodes. We were told it was inoperable and incurable but that chemo/immunotherapy could possibly help give us at least a few years. He had a ropey journey with treatment (more details in my profile just click on my name on this post) and had a “partial response” until May this year when he was ill  with pneumonitis and a CT scan (which was just to check for pulmonary embolism) showed an increase in the tumours in his lungs and lymph nodes. A further scheduled CT scan showed “Omental and peritoneal deposits’ and we were told that there are no more treatment options and he is now on palliative care. Like you I’ve read (and we have been told by the consultant) that the prognosis is very poor. His clinics letter says “time may be short”. This type of metastasis is very rare with lung cancer!!!!  Despite his initial diagnosis he has been reasonably well but now he’s in pain, his abdomen is very swollen and he has little appetite most days. But we are staying as positive as possible and take each day as it comes. We’ve planned a couple of short breaks away etc and try to do nice things on the good days and look back on our memories on other days. It’s so hard to deal with the emotions that this brings and I’ll be honest and say it’s not easy to stay cheerful. He has been referred to Community Macmillan Nurse and she has been amazing and we can contact her anytime, she has explained that she is there to manage symptoms and most importantly to deal with his pain before it becomes too bad. I have struggled to accept why the treatment didn’t work for him and also I am finding it difficult as this metastasis is so rare there is very little information out there. The only thing I can say is to take it one day at a time, plan things but accept that plans may change and as nice as it would be to have more time try to be thankful for the wonderful times you have had together so far. 

“The best things in life are the people you love, the places you have been and the memories you have made along the way.”

Grasan

Hi Grasan

Thanks for getting in touch. I am so sorry to hear what you are both going through.

My husband seems more positive than I feel. I am not sure if that is because he doesn’t know how bad the prognosis is, or if he is just a more positive person than me.

We haven’t had a scan since he started the two rounds of chemo. We have that on16th September. I am scared about that as I have seen such a physical deterioration in him over the last few weeks I fear that the cancer has grown / spread further. Today is is warm here. He has always worked outside and not been affected by the cold, but he is currently dozing on the sofa under an electric throw.

We try to plan small things like meals and BBQs with friends, but many times have had to cancel as he has felt too unwell.

I find myself wandering around the garden a lot in tears looking at the jobs I should be doing but having little motivation . I don’t want him to see me being sad as I want to appear positive for him. 

I know I must be grateful for the time we have left. He has had heart problems for years and could have gone without any warning.

Nothing can prepare anyone for this journey. We have to make the best of it and I know we are both trying.

Love to you both. Take care of yourself xxxx